Saturday, March 8

Growing old is not for sissies

I just turned 48. Another year and little to show for my life. No career, no relationship, no future. Oh people say I shouldn't be so down I have my health and all etc. Yeah well so what? I have nothing to inspire me and getting out of bed every morning is getting tough when there's little motivation. My writing and aikido are the only things I got going for me right now but neither pays the bills. The problem is- I'm not happy.

Happiness is sometimes hard to find. It defies definition, it's different for everyone. It's not a goal in itself but a state of mind. One that eludes me now. This bitter feeling will wear off in a few days but it always returns when I sit and think about where I have not been in life. Then I'm back to wondering if I missed some important message that will lead me to happiness.

1 comment:

christi said...

Happiness is not a place, a goal & possibly not even a state of mind -- it is a choice. It is looking at what is around you and choosing to like it and enjoy it. You can have problems or opportunities. You can hate the rain because it make you wet or you can love the rain because it grows the flowers you planted. If you don't fall down you aren't learning anything. If you didn't have problems, how would you know what your limits are, & how could you be creative? PollyAnna treated problems as if they did not exist. Happiness is seeing the problem & knowing you can find good in it. SnowCat