Turn Me On

Since I'm still sick, here's the entry I wrote for last Friday but forgot to post it so it's this Fridays post. Got it?


I was working at the library as usual, doing the CD/DVD polishing thing. While I was waiting on the stupid machine I looked through the cart of new books where I found a book that was so exciting I had to pull it out and look at it. I was oohhing and ahhing and I’m certain there was a fair amount of moaning and whining too. What was the title that could send me into spasms of sensual joy? What kind of reading could send me over the edge of ecstasy?

“500 Kitchen ideas” with full color photos! Inlaid floors, under cabinet lighting and my favorite -appliances (the old fashioned blue enameled stove was to die for). Forget about beefy shirtless studs, forget Brad Pitt, you want to turn me on- get me a subscription to Architectural digest. Floor plans, open beam ceilings and how to convert an old cabinet into a funky vanity-that’s my kind of porn.

I’m not like other women, no- I don’t shop for clothes and only have three pairs of shoes. I much prefer the the power tools department at Jerry’s home improvement. I see a radial/chop saw and I begin to drool.

Needless to say the future boyfriend will own a pick up truck and have a great wood shop.