Thursday, March 7

Ben's Birthday

 

ClipArt Best

 

    "Happy birthday boss," Ben chirps as I sit down to lunch.

    "Ah, it's no big deal," I mutter.

    As I get older I find the annual event disappointing. Still not a published author, no vocation to look fondly back on or retirement to look forward to, more people dying while dealing with my failing body parts.

    "May I ask how old are you?" Ben's tone is genuinely curious.

    "Sixty four and please no Beatles song reference," I snort.

    I never thought I'd live this long and it occurs to me that I have outlived my paternal grandmother who died at 63. Amazingly my other grandmother lived to be 77 despite a life time of heavy smoking and alcoholism. I don't wish to surpass her record.

    "How are you going to celebrate?" he asks.

    "Maybe get a massage or have dessert by myself."

    "Ahem."

    "Oh with your leafy company of course," I correct. My knowledge of plants is pretty thin so now my curiosity is piqued.

    "How old are you?" I ask.

    "Hmm, maybe twelve or thirteen, if I was out in the forest, I'd live longer and grow ten stories high," he adds with a majestic stretch of branches.  

    "You wouldn't last long here in Oregon," I remind him. He occasionally hints at being outdoors but Gwen has made it clear to keep him inside where it's safer.

    "There are palm trees just down the street," he pleads.

    "How do you know that?" honestly I wonder how he's so aware of the world around him.

    "We trees to talk to each other you know," he informs me with obvious impatience.

    "Through the root system yeah, but you're in a pot."

    "What would be the perfect birthday for you?" he asks. It takes me a second to catch his evasion. I doodle aimlessly on the margin of the newspaper where I have been doing a crossword puzzle and think about this.

    " I guess a fancy dinner and good company," I find myself caught up in the daydream.

    "The main course would be linguini in clam sauce cooked by a Michelin Chef, some wine I could never afford and conversation with Stephen Fry, possibly the most intelligent person around and could converse on any subject. Opera mezzo soprano Marilyn Horne, who I saw at San Francisco Opera forty years ago. I bet she has some tales to tell, and Sigourney Weaver, who is jus plain awesome. Reminiscing about "Galaxy Quest" alone would make this movie geek happy. How about you?"  Ben, as usual, takes time to consider an answer.

    "I'm out in the garden, the morning starts with a delicious dew that tickles my leaves as the sun comes out and dissolves the sparkles. A sparrow lands on a high branch and sings a song just for me. I enjoy the day as a slight warm breeze gently rocks me and I commune with the pine trees nearby." he sighs in such content I'm envious.

    "Can we trade birthday dreams?"

    "No. I don't like seafood."

Saturday, March 2

Quote of the Week -Waste Not- In Case of a Meltdown

 

Quote of the Week

American democracy will fail... “If it is going to use this power to force the world into color prejudice and race antagonism; if it is going to use it to manufacture millionaires, increase the rule of wealth, and break down democratic government everywhere; if it is going increasingly to stand for reaction, fascism, white supremacy and imperialism; if it is going to promote war and not peace; then America will go the way of the Roman Empire.”   --W.E.B. DuBois.

 

 

 

 

 

 Waste Not

    There is a looming threat to the environment that we are avoiding -waste. People complain about trash left by the homeless. Piles of it strewn about but how practical is it to carry around bags of garbage? Look at a garbage can and see how much refuse we accumulate every day. We don't think about it after it goes in a can to be picked up and poof- gone.

    The waste happens every day. I've seen perfectly good, usable glass jars pitched in the trash like crumpled paper-also recyclable. A mere drop in the vast ocean, you may say, but such small discards pile up and spread.

    Food, construction material, clothing, furniture- all tossed when expired, imperfect or out of date. Capitalism failed to take in to account that our resources and demand are finite with no more space for the cast off.

    The problem is vast. Whole towns under construction then halted to rot. Office buildings empty as the work environment changes, last years fashion shipped to third world countries to be burned in mounds -creating toxic air pollution. People make a living picking up stuff the rich put on the curb and what box store throw in their dumpsters is beyond appalling.

    We already have plenty of stuff. The covid lock down demonstrated this when supply lines were disrupted.

    Sneering at the idea of reuse, recycle and reduce or buying second hand is propaganda from the producers of all this crap. Unfortunately, the onus of reducing waste is placed on the consumer rather than the manufacturers. We have been sold on the convenience of disposable goods when they simply make a bigger mess and ends up costing us more. Recycling plastic- one of the major evils of the modern age- is unprofitable.

    There are things we can do on a daily basis to reduce the waste. I use my own bag when shopping or get a paper bag for garbage instead of plastic.  Since I'm handy with tools I have found ways to repurpose furniture, cardboard and fabric. I've made pillows out of old tee shirts. Food cartons are used for storing crafty stuff and yogurt containers are great as a picnic cup. The longer it stays out of landfills, the better.

     Such efforts might be a drop in the ocean but like the drops, they will accumulate and pay off.

 

Autism: In Case of a Meltdown

    A reader asked if there is something they can do to help when a melt down occurs. Yes-- nothing.

    What people tend to do when someone freaks out is yell and demand the person calm down immediately. Horror stories abound of police taseing, shooting, or injuring people when they are having a fit. Children are punished and locked in isolation rooms. Mental cases are subdued to death.

    All because of extreme response to distress. When someone is in crisis, they are not thinking clearly--apparently the rescuers aren't either. Expecting someone to understand and obey commands in that state is unrealistic. Like someone having an epileptic seizure, the best thing to do is stand by and make sure they don't hurt themselves or others until the moment passes.

    Asking "What can I do to help?" can be a way to stop the cycle when they are only focused on the storm within. Change the subject if they persist with obsessive behavior to help them regain their balance and lose track of the cause of their break down.

    I don't know about psychotics, but autistics are usually horribly embarrassed by the lack of control on display. They spend a lot of energy to maintain a sense of normalcy and are bound to lose it on occasion.

    Everyone has moments of frustration and anger. We need to recognize the difference between genuine despair or someone just having a bad hair day. Treat them with kindness not punishment and they'll be fine again.

 

 

 

 

Friday, February 16

Grab Bag of Stuff

 Sorry for the delay Real Life© interfered with writing. Here is a mix of things to ponder.

 

Picture of the Day

Let's file this under what the F were they thinking. A top Reddit comment was getting rid of the Decapitator 3000. Your ideas?


Autism Can Be Cool

 Posted by Chris Bonnello author, educator and advocate on his facebook page.Check him out at autisticnotweird.com

    I caused a small explosion in a child’s brain on Saturday (metaphorically speaking). I was in Chippenham for a Rubik’s cube tournament, and a competitor I know came along his brother (8 years old and autistic) for the first time. His mum pointed me out, saying “this is Chris – he’s autistic too! He’s got the same kind of awesome brain that you have!”

    The boy was immediately dismissive, saying “autism isn’t a good thing, it just means you think different to everyone. Why’s that good?”

    He may have asked this rhetorically, but I gave a genuine answer. There was an opportunity here.

    “Do you want to know why autism exists?” I asked.

“Why?”

    I sat down to give my answer. (And a quick disclaimer- I didn’t come up with this on the spot. I speak professionally about neurodiversity using this analogy, and it works well.)

    “Ok, imagine you have ten people on a desert island, they have one hour to build a shelter before a storm arrives, and all of them have exactly the same brain. They only have one set of ideas, one way of looking at the problem, and will probably only come up with one solution. But now imagine you have ten different people on that island – one’s neurotypical, one’s autistic, one’s dyslexic, one has ADHD and so on. THAT way, you have TEN different sets of ideas, and they’re ten times more likely to get that shelter built- as long as they listen to each other.”

    He looked like he immediately understood. Then I finished by saying:

    “THAT’s why autism exists. Because humans do so much better when they can think about problems in lots of different ways!”

    And then BANG. The look on his face…

    People talk all the time about seeing the instant someone has an “I get it!” moment, but in my experience they’re rarely as stark as that boy’s face – from the wide expanding of the eyes, to the looking away from me in a moment of “wow, I need to process this for a second”.

    Best moment of the day, by far. (And this was a day when I solved a 7x7x7 cube in under seven minutes. Three times.)

    One of my ‘catchphrases’ when speaking is “human progress relies on diversity of thought”. It’s a fact that our species relies on, which is all too easily forgotten when we're too busy pathologising difference, or treating autistic people as inferior (and when autistic people are busy obediently believing it).

    Like I said, I don’t just use this analogy with children. I use it with companies when discussing why neurodiversity in the workplace isn’t just a piece of performative inclusion, but an active part in improving your company. I use it in school staff training. I use it in general conversation while geeking out about neurodiversity.

    I won't be forgetting the look in that boy’s face for a long time. In a day packed with speedsolving Rubik’s cubes, that was by far the most important moment. 

 

Assume This 

 Alisa McLaughlin

    Don Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec shaman wrote a book The Four Agreements in which he detailed four principles; be impeccable with your word, don't make assumptions, don't take things personally and do your best.

    Boys and girls, men and women--I got to say he's absolutely right. For me, at the top of the list is making assumptions. People make accusations, judge behavior and generally dismiss others based an faulty assumptions. They must be doing that on purpose, they're lying, or they're being childish based on a single incident.

    Years ago a friend was at my house and went to use the bathroom, passing thru the kitchen where my old housemate was cooking. Apparently he was gruff to her. For years afterward when I mention him in passing, she brought this up. Excuse me, you're still carrying this around? So both these people made assumptions about the other, she was in his space ( that's my kitchen dude) and he must be a rude person period. When I called her on this, she had to admit it was silly to hang on to this.

    Then I had a horrifying realization. Oh my God how many times have I left people with a poor impression of me because of my inattentive, autistic behavior?

    Let me give you all some advice: don't assume it's personal, the vast majority of time whatever it is has nothing to do with you. Science is based on repeated experimentation to prove a hypothesis, not so with people, screw up once and you're labeled for life. Relationships, friendships, and business deals are scorched like the plot of an old sitcom from misunderstanding instead of --oh I don't know-- inquiring if the perception is correct. Maybe then people won't be blacklisted because someone was having a bad hair day and you got in the way.

    Don Miguel didn't mention another important principle; admit when you're wrong. I'm still waiting for the day when someone apologizes to me for an ill perceived fault that ruined our relationship.

     Oh hey, sorry I forgot you had autism, which you mentioned and even explained to me, when you made some tactless remark which I took as a personal affront instead of brushing it off as lack of social skills on your part.

    Yeah, that's never gonna happen. I'll finish with some advice from Kent Keith.

    "People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

    The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. . .

    Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway."

 


 


Friday, January 19

System Overload

  


    Do you ever feel like you're overwhelmed with information? People with ASD or chronic depression often struggle to manage simple daily tasks that end up being too much to handle.

    How can daily life be so hard? As tasks grow, there are more decisions to make, figuring out which ones to attend to requires more thought and energy  but they will strive to the point of failure.

    The depressed person can't get out of bed to do simple tasks because they just don't have the energy. The person with ADHD can be overwhelmed with options, stimulation, and data.

    It's hard to understand how a seemingly normal adult can't function or take a long time to get things done. It's easy, what's the problem? Your arm isn't broken, you manage to dress and talk alright, why do you need help?

    Because your asking a desk calculator to land a spaceship- like Apollo 11. As they approached the landing, an alarm went off that Buzz Aldrin had to repeatedly shut down. Turns out it was the on board computer saying "I'm overwhelmed and about to crash." It took two skilled pilots to land the craft safely. Sometimes we all need help.

    The skills to do certain tasks don't always translate to others. I know a brilliant physicist who can't figure out how to record a message on the phone. I have good basic mechanical skills but I'm immediately frustrated working on a bike.

    Idiot- savant used to mean people like the character in "Rainman." It was dropped for being insensitive but it's kind of accurate. Some abilities are heightened while others simply aren't there. Everyone has good / bad ability but some are more challenged than the others because of the inability to compensate. Bear this in mind the next time you experience system overload.

Friday, January 12

The Rant is Due



Printer Hell

    I have to get a new all in one printer and I hate the whole endeavor. Why? Because most of the printers on the market are cheap pieces of shit where the makers soak you with the ink refills.

    Ok I'm not an economist or business savvy but I can't understand why  this business model is successful. Haven't they ever heard of Maytag? You know the company that makes washer and dryers built like thanks and last forever? You know how they succeed? Their competitors make crap, so consumers decides to invest in a Maytag which will be replaced when their kids graduate from College.

    IBM produced the first office inkjet printer but stopped making them because of expense and complexity. Well, if engineers can build a rover on a shoestring budget and send it to Mars, they can make a decent printer. A printer that gets along with any computer, that prints, copies, and scans in color and doesn't cost a week's groceries to replace the ink.

    I would pay good money for a such a machine, why? Because when the latest piece of shit from Epson, Brother or HP dies I'll surrender and buy the new and improved IBM model and use it-- forever.