Civility is Dead

 

         Public freak outs, employees being assaulted for enforcing rules, people having a tantrum over not getting their way. We are in the midst of an philosophical and emotional pandemic that has infused everything with a sense of dread and panic that is causing full scale meltdowns in disproportion to minor inconveniences.

        I suspect much of this behavior is rooted in confusing privilege with rights. We live in a remarkably privileged society where can go about our daily business without too much official interference. We have come to expect being unrestricted in our attire, our speech, where we are going and how we do it. We have been spoiled to think privilege and rights are the same thing. They are not.

        What's is absent in these wild conflicts is civility, common courtesy, good manners. But to most of the offended it's not about politeness or communal boundaries, it's about an inflated sense of entitlement.

        Freedom of speech means you have the right to an opinion that does not mean people have to agree with it. It does not include harassment, bullying and assault.

        Privilege is offered with a caveat. People have forgotten that every store has a sign that says they reserve the right to refuse service. Not because you're gay or black or Jewish but because you are being obnoxious, threatening or dressed inappropriately. When has anyone ever complained about "their rights" because they had to wear a shirt or shoes to go into a 7-eleven? It's private property and therefore they set the boundaries of what is acceptable. Just like your own home.

        In a recent incident a passenger on a plane refused to wear a mask, when he was asked by the flight attendant to comply, he promptly broke her nose. He was restrained, the pilot had to make an emergency landing, and the attendant had to go to the hospital. He managed piss off everyone. He violated the terms of that privilege yet he probably thinks he was justified. Don't be like that guy.

        Speaking of privilege, a new experience for Americans is having to wait for service, goods or deliveries due to shortages. We are used to getting what we want, like now. The new normal- common in other countries, is finding a store shelf empty, a product no longer unavailable, a local business understaffed or shuttered. Even buying on line requires a wait time. When I find myself frustrated by the inconvenience I'm reminded how decades of seemingly endless goods have spoiled us rotten.

        Climate change, a pandemic, a faltering economy, whatever the reasons, we are faced with a changing reality we must adjust  and grow up or continue to act like spoiled children.