A Disagreeable Woman

I have many opinions on many subjects. I am passionate about politics, religion, sex, and gun control. All the subjects one should keep in check in mixed company.  I have always regarded my wit and my intellect as my best attributes and am not shy about expressing my opinions.

I think a lot about deep subjects in the privacy of my kitchen while sipping morning tea. It's a kind of mental exercise, a way to stretch the brain and evaluate my perspective of the world.

Turns out my perspective appears to bear little resemblance to the reality of others. My ideology is met with disbelief, puzzlement, disagreement and I fail miserably to make myself  understood. I know this because the counter arguments sound better than mine and I know it. I draw a blank at the perfect retort. I lose the fencing match before it's begun. Touche.

 The problem with self monologue is the absence of a counter voice. While I may enter the conversational fray with a secure sense of assurance of the facts, I soon discover I'm no match for real debate and my confidence crumbles in the realization I have no idea what I'm talking about.

This is bruising to the ego tends to shut me down faster than a republican retort-oh wait a second, that was highly opinionated and reactionary and offensive to someone- never mind.

So I retreat like the turtle I am and refuse to engage in any more discussion that will result in clashing viewpoints. Afterall, I'm no more interested in having my mind changed than the next person. What's the point when my words can find no value in the discourse? How am I to react when I feel my thoughts are worthless?

Perhaps my ideas are best kept to the morning cup of tea while sunshine warms my shoulders rather then offer them up to a verbal wood chipper. The greatness of thought is just an illusion.