Thursday, September 13

The Mission From God Part 2


 After a long morning of waiting for arrival the supply van, get loaded, pick up food supplies and drive out to the coast, me and fellow volunteers arrive at Camp Baker. I always thought I was a stressful type but I am a sea of calmness compared to Emma's level of anxiety. ASD people do not deal with transistions very well.

The camp is huge boy scout affair with a large dining hall and shower facility at the top of a hill. camp sites are tucked in amid a thick forest of pine trees.The camp is surrounded by Lake Siltcoos on it's shore is a boathouse and a swimming area. The volunteer camp is by the lake too, down a long sloping hill which means walking up hill -a lot. I was warned of the hike. 

"Hey I'm a big girl I can handle it. " I insist. 

I'm looking forward to resting and relaxing for three days before the campers arrive on Friday but the continued petty annoyances that have plagued me for weeks persists. A reliable pen runs out of ink and I had no back up, my flashlight batteries die and I neglected to bring spares. The final straw was when I sat down on a spot of pine pitch and wrecked my good pants. Apparently Her Holiness has a twisted sense of humor. 

The view of the moonlit lake made up for the disaster. That and a drink from my secret stash. I resign myself to these distractions following me like an unwanted seven year old. The air mattress which worked fine at home inexplicably wants to be weakly inflated despite my efforts. I also found myself having to pee every five minutes and realized that once again my period has come to ruin my vacation as it's done the last eight times I traveled. I thought I had defeated the little shit when menopause arrived but the leftover full bladder syndrome decided to come along. I discover going to the outhouse is an experience. The seat is rather low playing havoc with my stiff hip so I have to bend and stretch in strange ways. I feel like I'm doing yoga every time I pee which is a lot- remember?

At night I decide to go out to the boathouse to get a clear view of the night sky and I'm not disappointed. Awe inspiring barely covers the feeling as I gazed up at the endless stars. I was hoping for inspiration but instead there is a big yawning emptiness. No endless song or idle internal chitchat intrudes on the thunderous silence in my head. Even my mind is on vacation. 
My companion on the other hand,  is a chatty woman who never shuts the fuck up. She is a bright, smart woman who expresses herself in negative comparisons that are clearly untrue. This distorted self perception is puzzling and annoying.

Back in the brand new tent,  I didn't sleep well because of a sore shoulder and the confining space of the sleeping bag. I like my bedding to be roomy. I took some medicine and struggled to find a comfortable position. As I lay in the dark waiting for the painkillers to take effect I wonder again why I am doing this.

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