A friend --"Babs", was at my house years ago and had to pass thru the kitchen to the bathroom and my friend "Bob" who was cooking, apparently was snappy with her--chefs are like that. Ever since then, whenever I brought him up she would complain about that incident.
"Maybe it's time you let that go," I suggested to her.
It reminded me that our impression of someone can be based on misunderstanding the circumstances. Are they having a bad hair day, tired or busy? what if they have a poor opinion of you?
The expression "First impressions are lasting impressions " comes to mind. Such is the power of memory. How often have we met up with an old friend and picked up where we left off years ago, like a tape recorder turned off then started again later.
Sometimes impressions can change. I had a poor image of a friend of my brother's and wasn't interested in seeing her when I went to visit him. Despite huge personal differences, I discovered, much to my surprise she was actually a nice person. I also encountered a relative who still ignored me based on some perceived offense when she was a child. I have no idea what it was and-- it could be anything, like a bad sit-com plot based on misreading but never discovered.
Misunderstanding is the stuff of legendary feuds, and long simmering resentments.
Sometimes we need to reexamine our past impressions to lessen the unnecessary baggage we carry around. When we judge someone ask what it's based on. One incident, another's opinion, or personal bias can color our perceptions.
Keep that in mind the next time you think "oh yeah that person--".
No comments:
Post a Comment