Why is it so hard for adults with ASD to cope?
There are many resources for children with ASD but few for adults. It expected that being an adult means having the emotional /mental skills to cope with real world responsibilities. Society puts a high value on social manners as a sign of maturity, many adults with ASD lack these and may exhibit childlike responses to stress and stimuli due to underdeveloped social learning. The default reaction is often parental scolding which reminds the autistic they erred thus causing more stress.
Physical disabilities are singular and obvious when one is in a wheelchair, missing a limb or have a limb and easy to adjust for with a ramp or other devices.
Neurological disabilities are invisible so the person is treated as normal until they encounter a barrier with people or the environment. Complicating matters is the enormous effect to keep ones disability hidden to avoid rejection or embarrassment. When it becomes apparent, the adjustment is more complex.
Contrary to stereotype, one doesn't overcome a disability but the barriers of the normal world whether physical or mental.
Why do autistics prefer to be alone?
"The truth is, we'd prefer to be with other people but because things never ever go right, we end up getting used to being alone." Naoki Hgashida " The Reason I Jump."
The general misconception is that when someone is alone they prefer it. If they didn't-goes the logic, they would seek out company. Seeing a young man or woman sitting by themself, with odd quirks and seemingly uninterested in communicating makes it easy to ignore them. That introversion can make their acute loneliness worse. A girl may be labeled as shy or introverted without too much investigation.
Well meaning people might advise joining a social club, volunteer or "just get out and socialize". It's not that simple when the ability to interact is stunted. Like telling someone with a defective leg to take up dancing or go for a stroll. Possible but hard. ASD is subtle and hard to spot. What may be obvious to others may not be so to the ASD. Even with the brains ability to adapt, it is exceptionally hard for the Autistic.
Females learn how to mask the symptoms in order to gain acceptance and normalcy. Unfortunately successful masking makes the condition harder to spot or to accept the diagnosis.
Normalization (social skills) is learning a language by rote, but not understanding its nuances. For whatever reasons, the ASD has difficulty retaining or remembering certain social skills.
This can make finding job difficult. Autistics are generally not "team players" and therefore viewed as a poor fit by potential employers. Because of advocacy, more businesses are discovering the specialized skills ASD's can bring to a job.
The limits of the disabled is not necessarily a disadvantage as the tech industry is now recognizing. Autistics can see things that group think might miss.
"Autism is a profound disability that requires accommodation from society... Autism changes a lot over the course of a lifetime and functioning levels can change from hour to hour." says Steve Silberman, author of Neurotribes.
Brain plasicity allows for continual adaption but for the disabled that change may be long and slow.
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