I have trained in martial arts for 35 years and only achieved first degree black belt but not from lack of effort. I really wanted to understand the principles of Ki-- or Chi in Chinese. Deep down I knew it was important but it was hard to grasp because the concept so subtle. Years of coming home from class and sobbing out of sheer frustration because I wasn't getting it should have told me to quit.
I should have quit when it took me three times longer than average to achieve rank. I should have quit when it was obvious I was not cut out to be a worthy teacher. I should have quit when eight years after getting my Ki rank, I had to retake the test because no one believed I passed it before. I know I did, I remember writing the check and noting it in my journal.
I still train because the meditation and principles I learned keep me grounded.
The hard journey taught me a bigger lesson, that achievement is overrated. Society puts a big value on success, reaching a goal, following your dreams. Not all of them are obtainable for many reasons. We often think it's our fault, that all we need to do is put in more effort because we are told you can achieve anything if you try hard enough.
No, sometimes we can't and instead of seeing it as failure, maybe it's just not meant to be, or the inherent talent is lacking. No amount of effort is going to make me tall enough to play basketball. Realizing ones limits can liberate one to joyful endeavor instead of striving to prove our worth to some unattainable goal. Life is not a competition with winners and losers. We would all be so much happier just being.
So now I look at my training from a different perspective. I don't need to advance in rank, I'm not obsessed with teaching. I'm fine with just coasting as far as I can go. That acknowledgement is it's own kind of graduation.
4 comments:
Unrecognized achievement is a stern task master, no? Wisdom is relishing the act of learning and achievement, and being unfazed by lack of recognition. Unfazed is a long and winding road.
Beautiful piece, by the way!
I always find your reflections of great value. I’ve been reading some of Krishnamurti’s thoughts recently and find them insightful.
Authority is destructive
"To live without effort requires the greatest sensitivity and the highest form of intelligence. You don't just say, 'well, I won't struggle', and become like a cow. But one has to understand how conflict arises, the duality in us, the fact of 'what is', and 'what should be', there is the conflict. If there is no 'what should be', which is ideological, which is non real, which is fiction, and see 'what is', and face it, live with it without the 'what should be', then there is no conflict at all. It's only when you compare, evaluate with 'what should be', and then look with 'what should be' at the 'what is', then conflict arises."
Words to live by. Thank you.
Person satisfaction- personal best- invaluable.
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