The Autism Files: Empathy Strikes Back

(Disclamer. Fancy terms, scientists love them. Labeling and defining everything gives it a special distinction. Remember neurotic? Very popular in the 70's and 80's until it was apparent everyone had a hang up and it became passé. Same with co-dependent and enabling, we're all doing that in one way or another.

         Neurology has created a whole nomenclature (that's a fancy word for fancy words on a particular subject) when it comes to mental disorders, especially autism.

         Anyone who isn't autistic is alistic except we already have a word for that: normal, oh excuse me neurotypical, but the opposite of neurotypical is not autistic, it's neurodivergent. Can we make things more confusing? Certainly, I'm a woman or rather a cisgender female. Whatever. For simplicity sake I use ASD for autistics and NT for everyone else. Deal with it.)

         ASD's have long been accused of lacking empathy, being aloof, indifferent, even sociopathic. No, ASD's  are often overwhelmed with feeling and shut down so expressing emotions is difficult which the NT misinterprets. What we have here is a failure to communicate.

         It's often the ASD's work to put in the effort to be understood while the NT does not, so the ASD is blamed for the confusion because the directions or the right reaction are obvious to the NT. Now the ASD is stressed because they don't want to upset anyone and doubt their ability to grasp the situation. From the NT's point of view their request seems simple and-- what is wrong with this person?

         It turns out both sides have what is called ‘The double empathy problem' a theory by Dr. Damian Milton that emerged in the early 2010s many autistic people agreed with, but until now hasn’t been shown by science.

         “This impacts how autistic people are viewed,” said Rachel Cheang autistic researcher at Brunel University London’s Centre for Cognitive Neuroscience.

" If they're feeling happy about something and nobody's recognizing that, people won't celebrate the joy with them. And if they're feeling sad about something, it’s not recognized that person might be upset or sad about something. So, then they'll be lacking support or commiseration from people around them.”

         File under duh. No wonder ASD's are a higher risk of depression and suicide. Instead of reacting with frustration or anger, try curiosity and compassion to figure what the hell is going on instead of making assumptions. Everyone benefits.

 

Where Are The Heroes?

 

    I have a bone to pick with the graphic novel The Watchmen. I know fans are going to hate me and defend the great storytelling and illustration and (gasp) how dare I. They'll say I don't understand the sophisticated metaphors, the political commentary etc. I'm also willing to bet none of them has read Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth.

    A hero in mythology functions as a mirror, reflecting back to a society an ideal to strive for, teaching us the difference between good and evil. what happens when we deconstruct them—gleefully exposing them as flawed and all-too-human? None of the characters in the book are heroic or likable. Are we for or against them?

     I used to be a causal reader of comics as a teenager and understood the traditional themes they drew upon. Years later, while perusing a comic store I noticed a darker, more cynical bent. It wasn't until I read the Watchman when the film came out that I realized where the change in tone came from. Heroes in movies and comic books have now dispensed with secret identities, are often vilified by the public they try to protect and are deeply conflicted rather than resolute with their high ideals.

    Even  Zac Snyder (who expertly directed The Watchman) couldn't resist ruining the eponymous Superman. He was dark and brooding where the character has traditionally been about light and hope.

    Goddamn it how are we suppose to aspire to our better nature when being a good guy is viewed as a terrible idea. No wonder we have dictators and greedy CEOs as role models.

    Campbell's study of mythology is still relevant and more important then ever. His insights on the garden of Eden was about man rejecting nature and cutting itself off from it's source. Well, here we are seeing the result of that hubris in global climate collapse.We see the rejection of the hero myth in the hopelessness of modern thinking. 

    So yeah, fuck Alan Moore's dystopian philosophy and the current disruptors who hate the world and regard heroic aspiration as a dead end.

We Don't Play Together Anymore

 

         I recently came across a discussion about men and women interactions. Women professed disgust at men when they interpret a simple act of kindness as a sexual come on. A smile, a wish for better health, a pat on the shoulder is returned with aggressive requests for their phone number, outright desire or stalking.

         We hear there is an "epidemic of loneliness" among men--mostly media tripe-- but there is no doubt men and women are increasingly isolated from each other. While women see the "Me too" as empowering, men see it as vindictive--which it isn't, women are just sick of  being patronized. There is little discourse on an amicable change, just more incrimination and misunderstanding.

         The same extends to relations between adults and children. An adult male hanging out with kids is seen as creepy and potentially dangerous. It's rare to see a kid walking around alone.

         Whatever the cause, men women are angry at each other, children don't trust adults as role models and nobody's having fun.

         Maybe we need a national Play Day. A day where we can skip work and go play--not at adult leisure but like kids--and with them. Play in the sand, go on a swing, throw a ball around with friends. Maybe the problem is all the responsibility  and social baggage has ruined the joy of being in each others company.

         Women are not sex objects, men are not lusting pedophiles, children are not fragile innocents to be exploited. We would be happier and healthier simply hanging out with each other without all the weird, imagined implications.

Simple Answers to Complex Questions

 

         Ben watches me sort through paperwork piled on the desk, put away art supplies used to make presents and generally straighten things up. I enjoy these tasks as a way to make my little corner of the world comfortable and certain. I take a few minutes to dust off his foliage and check the soil in his pot. Looks good.

         "Ah another holiday season come and gone, what's your New Year's resolution?" he asks cheerfully, relieved with my attention to him.

         " Not to make unrealistic New Year's resolutions," I answer as I take a break to read the news which I swore I wouldn't do after the election but ... bad habits are hard to break.

         "Speaking of which-- maybe next year will be better," I sigh heavily at my lack of discipline and growing cynicsm.

         "Why was this year bad -- and just the highlights please," he pleads, knowing my tendencies to be long winded. I can take a hint even as I frown at him.

         " Nothing worked to end wars, economic failures, the collapsing environment, etc. There are simple solutions to many problems but we prefer to think of them as too complex for any attempts to solve. Incentive is missing here," I complain.

         "Simple huh, so how can homelessness be solved?" Ben does enjoy baiting me with big challenges.

         "Give them a home, duh," I answer. Ben is not impressed.

         "Ok, they need a warm, safe place to sleep and keep their stuff so they can get their life in order, not the other way around, next," I snap.

         "Why do people hate transgender women?"

         "Because it's seen as a step down on the social scale, like why would a guy want to put up with the shit women deal with, next."

         "Why did the English vote for Brexit?"

         "They don't consider themselves European and don't want to be a part of it even if it helps them economically."

         "Speaking of the English why do we use the English standard of measuring and not metric?"

         "Like the snobbish Brits, we believe we're special and don't need to follow the rest of the world, but nobody really knows."        

         "Yeah, so what's a hot dog made of?"

         "Don't even go there," I warn him.

         "Will there be big earthquake in the Northwest?"

         "Yes."

         "Are we ready for it?"

         "No."

         "Why do some believe the Earth is flat?"

         "They fear what science is telling us, so they reject it. Done." I declare, shut down the computer and return to the relaxing joy of organizing.

        

Christmas? Again?

 

Newton and Greta the tree

    It's that time of year again with tidings of comfort and joy, ho, ho, ho and reindeer running over grandma. I always loved christmas and finding the perfect gift, the hope of snow (I grew up in Pennsylvania) and scoring serious loot.

    But after sixty four years of false cheer, the expense and hassle of buying and the memory of mom and younger sister dying shortly after- I've finally had it.

    In the true spirit of the season I present my favorite song and wish you all happy holidays.  

    I'll be back next friday.