Notes from All Over

  Real Men Have Balls

You know it's interesting that Trudeau, Macron and Zelensky (in the early days of his presidency) were viewed as weak, corrupt etc. by public perception are now growing a spine and showing some balls. Were we wrong about them to start with? Yes. True character is tested with adversity.

There is a concept called “the stand by” effect where people are reluctant to intervene because they don’t see it as their problem but will join in once someone takes action. This is why in an emergency situation one needs to direct a specific person to call 911. Likewise, a cause or revolution requires a leader or the movement loses energy and focus.

Speaking of men, the reason straight men fear gay men is because the straight is afraid the gay will hit on them the way they hit on women. News flash straights- gay men are terrified of making a pass at you for fear of getting beat up or killed. Also gay men don’t need women and that’s scary to a straight. Even an incel –deep down—desire women. Those who don’t are truly a threat.

Rapists, serial killers, and mass shooters—all men. Maybe this aggression is an evolution they need to get over. While it’s handy for dealing with wild animals and competing with other hominids, it’s ultimately self destructive. A leftover from tribalism where others are viewed as a threat. Like a family member inventing an offense to justify a feud or violence. Maybe it’s something in the water?

Save the Earth, Cut Down a Tree

I just heard a news story that an environmental conference is being held in the Amazon forest to address it’s destruction. So officials are cutting down acres of forest to build a wide road to the venue. The very definition of stupidity and a fat middle finger to Mother Nature. My God.

Turn the Other Cheek

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek.” Matt 5:38

In Roman times it was considered a condescending thing to slap someone with the back of the hand but more a challenge to an equal to strike with the palm. Also striking with the left hand ( historically considered unclean) would be disgraceful for an aggressor. So if someone were to insult you, or put you down, they would backhand with their right. But if you “turn the other cheek” he can’t backhand you the same way. They have three choices: hit you again with the right palm thus signaling a fair fight with an equal, use the left hand which was disgusting or back down from the unfair challenge and look like the bad guy. Jesus made an excellent metaphor.

Quotes

A good conversation is like a mini skirt, short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. --Celeste Headlee (10 ways to have a better conversation TED talk).

It’s better to somewhere slow then nowhere fast. --James Thurber

I reject your reality and substitute my own-- Attributed to Adam Savage but from the cult film “dungeon Master”.

The Ultimate Gift List

 

Every year friends of mine have a group birthday party and ask the guests of honor to submit a gift list. I always like to be as original as possible with gift giving, no Amazon or generics and if I can make a gift, even better.

I’m practical and budget friendly with stuff I ask for but there are some intangible, out of reach things or experiences I wish I could have.

Dinner with Stephen Fry. Fry is arguably the smartest man around. I could listen to him converse on any topic for hours—which he does, on many podcasts, but to have a chance to trades ideas with the man during a great meal, sigh. That goes for movie shop talk with Dame Judy Dench, Jennifer Lewrance or Paul Rudd.

A tour of Adam Savage’s work shop. I loved Mythbusters and Savage’s joy was a delight to behold. Now he has a YouTube channel where he builds all manner of props, tools, gadgets and space helmets, an obsession I share with him. “The cave” as his workshop is called, is a maker’s wet dream. I drool at all his cool stuff and would kill to just get a tour of it (some people have and I envy them).

A katana, the sword of the samurai. I came this close to getting one when I went to Japan in 2008. I just got my black belt in aikido and deserved one for my years of training. So me and a couple of aikido folks wandered into a sword shop and I asked to look at one. The male clerk was bored with showing me one until my companion ( the witty wife of a fellow student) referred to me as sensei ( meaning teacher) and he immediately became respectful--the Japanese take martial arts rank seriously. Alas, after some calculation I decided I couldn’t afford it. I regret my frugality to this day.

A novel on the best sellers list. You’d think I would be published after writing for fifty years. Nope. Getting published is much harder than you think. Self publishing isn’t easy either and being autistic doesn’t help. So I write, it goes in a drawer and I dream of having a novel faithfully turned into a hit movie starring Paul Rudd and Jennifer Lawerance.

A full backyard make over. I’m great at interior remodeling but not with gardening. I plant things and they die. You knows those cable shows where a professional crew comes in and remodels a dull drab back yard. Yeah I need that.

Lastly, peace, love and chocolate to everyone I know and love. Happy Birthday, whatever the date, I’m glad you were born.

Dear Oscar

 

I'm taking time off cause it's my birthday meanwhile, enjoy some Oscar Wilde; a writer, playwright and endless source of wit.

Be yourself, everybody eles is taken.

God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.

If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life but what I will call the artistic life, if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward.

Bye--Buy

 

February 28 2025 is a protest day of no buying at all. People are fed up with the obscene wealth of a very few screwing over the rest of us. How did it come to this?

Decades of hard sell, planned obsolescene and rampant consumerism fueled by unchecked greed. Nothing new here, it’s been going on since the 50’s but it’s reached an end point. Buy the new car, the latest fashion or the fancy gadget. Buy cheap shiny crap that will break, wear out or is useless in two years. Buy more, you’ll be happy, instead we end burdened with things we don’t need and debt we can’t afford.

And for what? We have been brainwashed into thinking more stuff means more affluence. When we are poor we need to be frugal, when we are rich we can be wasteful is the message here.

I was putting away laundry the other day and realized I have too many clothes. Ordinarily I pack the extra to donate but even the thrift store are bulging with castoffs. I know people who have closets full of clothes they don’t wear and garages filled with stuff they don’t use but “it’s too much trouble” to box it up and donate so accessories are left on the curb or tossed. And the rich accuse the working class of being lazy.

These people don’t want us to just buy more shit, they want us to sell our souls—like they did for the illusion of power wealth gives them.

I can go one day without buying anything, in fact I plan to make it a habit. I ask myself, do I really need this. If I can find it used, good. I will buy from a small business that feeds the local economy—even though shopping on line sooo much easier-- thanks to the big corporations being boycotted. I will consider the effort to obtain a product worth it.

“For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Mark 8:36

Autism Files: It's All an Act

We often say things to please or placate people without understanding what we’re saying. It’s just rote thinking. I’ve learned that If I respond the right way it will satisfy them but there may little or no comprehension because of the lack of understanding social cues.

Society wants blandness and regularity, dealing with large numbers of strangers on a daily basis requires it to feel safe and comfortable. Predictability is a big plus and evening out our strong and weak skills can give the appearance of normal.

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken” as Oscar Wilde said. In an increasingly homogenized population self identity is vital but it comes with big consequences.

When people say “be yourself” to an ASD what they really mean is “Can you please act like everybody else.” It’s like telling a black person to be more white. It’s not going to work.

Adding to the confusion for ASD’s is shifting context. They may learn how to respond in a given situation but will be lost when confronted with the same situation in a different context. What may be proper behavior in one way may not be right in another. You don’t interact with a co worker the same way you would to family.

The constant changing is confusing and exhausting. Imagine waking up every day to find yourself in a different country with a new language. Welcome to our world.