Friday, March 28

TGIF -How to rob a 7-11

"Hand over the twinkies and nobody gets hurt"

Every once in a while I hear a news story about someone robbing a convience store and wonder what the hell were they thinking? Did they think convience meant convient to rob? Were they too lazy to rob a real store? I should think the cashier in the women’s shoe department at Nordstroms’s would have more money than a 7-11.

Even if I were desperate enough I couldn’t commit robbery. Too Stressful and the logistics- too complex.What do I wear that’s inconspicious yet assertive enough to say “Hand over the money punk.”besides I’m not good at ordering people around. What about a getaway? I don’t drive and asking someone to be an accomplice is such a personal thing to approach friends with.Using a gun is out of the question, way too dangerous.

If you had to rob a store I say make it fun for everyone. Dress up as a clown, hit the clerks with cream pies and silly string if they resist. Make your getaway vehicle an ice cream truck. This is not only less stressful but is embarrassing for the store clerk when they have to describe the theives to the police. The headline alone is worth it: ”Store robbed by somce clowns” well, what else is new?

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