A collection of “How many ___ does it take to screw in a lighbulb?” Shamelessly ripped off from a Reddit thread. This joke, like “why did the chicken cross the road?” has so many variations it’s hard to count. Here is a sampling- in no particular order.
How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 37.
One to screw it in and 36 to make t-shirts to commemorate the occasion.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Juan.
How many Freudian slips does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two - one to screw it in and one to hold the penis... ladder, I mean ladder.
How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fish.
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You don't know man! You weren't fucking there!
How many straight guys in San Francisco does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them!
How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb?
They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out.
How many experimental jazz musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
12/5
How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
How many Peace Corps Volunteers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Wait, you have electricity?
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? What's that?
How many Irish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fuck it who cares, we'll drink in the dark.
How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Wanna go ride bikes?"
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
How many border collies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, and he'll also check to make sure your wiring is up to code.
How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it in, one to kick the ladder out from under her and one to say "Don't you think that was a little high for you dear?"
How many Unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb? We would never ask it to change!! It's perfect just the way it is.
How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. It will turn on and off as it was predestined to.
How many PMS'ing women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: ONE, YOU GODDAM MORON!
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