The Autistic Adult Adrift

                  Let's be real, being an adult is not easy, for the autistic more so.

         A few years ago I was on a discussion panel about autistic adult transitioning to work and during Q&A, a mother asked about resources for her adult son. I'll never forget the devastated look on her face when informed there were none.

         I taught a class for adult with autism and the students were all mothers looking for help with their adult children (side bar, we need a better term then adult children, carry on).

         More research needs to be done on autism in midlife because I've yet to see any studies on the effect of a late diagnosis of autism. Until a decade or so ago, there were no autistic voices contributing to the discussion.

          As recent as 2018 there was a belief in a "narrow window of brain plasticity" in children with ASD  so the need for early education and intervention was dire.

         When we come of age it's assumed  we will figure out how to be an adult. Our toolbox of learning, and understanding the world is complete after years of education right?

         Not everyone has the same ability to pick up on what they need to navigate the adult world. This is especially true of autistics who are socially deficient. There are few if any resources as adults, making it harder for them to fit in. Once they discover their disability, it may take years to readjust behavior and undo the damage to their sense of self from years of rejection and failure while dealing with daily challenges.

          There are some who do counsel adult with Autism but they can be hard to find. Hard to find, hard to do, hard to learn are mantras I hear frequently from autistics. It's harder without proper skill to navigate relationships, work, child rearing or where the hell did I put my keys this time-without getting exhausted.

         There is counseling for families in crisis, recovering addicts and other traumas psychology discovers. Help is available for disabled children, but there is no one stop place for the poor autistic shoved out the door once they reach adulthood.

         That needs to change. Unfortunately society has a poor view of the disabled. If they can't keep up academically with normal students, they're stupid. If they require special needs like a ramp or a signing interpreter, they're a bother. Alternately they are viewed as heroic like some Hallmark movie when they overcome their disability to succeed. Cue the sappy music.

         They didn't overcome their disability, they overcame the obstacles of life with lots of hard effort. The undiagnosed autistic suffers. Even after discovery, how much understanding do they get from family, friends or the medical profession?          The expert who diagnosed me offered no information on support or guidance. We have to readjust to a new reality and what to do next, where to seek help. For the most part, the autistic is left to figure it out on their own. Remember we're adults so we should know how to navigate thorough a bureaucratic maze.         

         All of the assistance listed here can be helpful IF they are qualified to make an assessment, check their credentials-seriously.

          A Psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker can offer an assessment. Medication can't alleviate ASD but can help with depression and anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy- a fancy term for talking it out, make sure the counselor has experience with ASD. Vocational rehabilitation can evaluate strengths and needs but that's about it. Support groups offer peer only support and kinship.

         When you break an arm, you know to go to an ER and there's someone to help  you. Where can a newly diagnosed adult with a neurological disability get help?