Grab Bag of Stuff

 Sorry for the delay Real Life© interfered with writing. Here is a mix of things to ponder.

 

Picture of the Day

Let's file this under what the F were they thinking. A top Reddit comment was getting rid of the Decapitator 3000. Your ideas?

Autism Can Be Cool

 Posted by Chris Bonnello author, educator and advocate on his facebook page.Check him out at autisticnotweird.com

    I caused a small explosion in a child’s brain on Saturday (metaphorically speaking). I was in Chippenham for a Rubik’s cube tournament, and a competitor I know came along his brother (8 years old and autistic) for the first time. His mum pointed me out, saying “this is Chris – he’s autistic too! He’s got the same kind of awesome brain that you have!”

    The boy was immediately dismissive, saying “autism isn’t a good thing, it just means you think different to everyone. Why’s that good?”

    He may have asked this rhetorically, but I gave a genuine answer. There was an opportunity here.

    “Do you want to know why autism exists?” I asked.

“Why?”

    I sat down to give my answer. (And a quick disclaimer- I didn’t come up with this on the spot. I speak professionally about neurodiversity using this analogy, and it works well.)

    “Ok, imagine you have ten people on a desert island, they have one hour to build a shelter before a storm arrives, and all of them have exactly the same brain. They only have one set of ideas, one way of looking at the problem, and will probably only come up with one solution. But now imagine you have ten different people on that island – one’s neurotypical, one’s autistic, one’s dyslexic, one has ADHD and so on. THAT way, you have TEN different sets of ideas, and they’re ten times more likely to get that shelter built- as long as they listen to each other.”

    He looked like he immediately understood. Then I finished by saying:

    “THAT’s why autism exists. Because humans do so much better when they can think about problems in lots of different ways!”

    And then BANG. The look on his face…

    People talk all the time about seeing the instant someone has an “I get it!” moment, but in my experience they’re rarely as stark as that boy’s face – from the wide expanding of the eyes, to the looking away from me in a moment of “wow, I need to process this for a second”.

    Best moment of the day, by far. (And this was a day when I solved a 7x7x7 cube in under seven minutes. Three times.)

    One of my ‘catchphrases’ when speaking is “human progress relies on diversity of thought”. It’s a fact that our species relies on, which is all too easily forgotten when we're too busy pathologising difference, or treating autistic people as inferior (and when autistic people are busy obediently believing it).

    Like I said, I don’t just use this analogy with children. I use it with companies when discussing why neurodiversity in the workplace isn’t just a piece of performative inclusion, but an active part in improving your company. I use it in school staff training. I use it in general conversation while geeking out about neurodiversity.

    I won't be forgetting the look in that boy’s face for a long time. In a day packed with speedsolving Rubik’s cubes, that was by far the most important moment. 

 

Assume This 

 Alisa McLaughlin

    Don Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec shaman wrote a book The Four Agreements in which he detailed four principles; be impeccable with your word, don't make assumptions, don't take things personally and do your best.

    Boys and girls, men and women--I got to say he's absolutely right. For me, at the top of the list is making assumptions. People make accusations, judge behavior and generally dismiss others based an faulty assumptions. They must be doing that on purpose, they're lying, or they're being childish based on a single incident.

    Years ago a friend was at my house and went to use the bathroom, passing thru the kitchen where my old housemate was cooking. Apparently he was gruff to her. For years afterward when I mention him in passing, she brought this up. Excuse me, you're still carrying this around? So both these people made assumptions about the other, she was in his space ( that's my kitchen dude) and he must be a rude person period. When I called her on this, she had to admit it was silly to hang on to this.

    Then I had a horrifying realization. Oh my God how many times have I left people with a poor impression of me because of my inattentive, autistic behavior?

    Let me give you all some advice: don't assume it's personal, the vast majority of time whatever it is has nothing to do with you. Science is based on repeated experimentation to prove a hypothesis, not so with people, screw up once and you're labeled for life. Relationships, friendships, and business deals are scorched like the plot of an old sitcom from misunderstanding instead of --oh I don't know-- inquiring if the perception is correct. Maybe then people won't be blacklisted because someone was having a bad hair day and you got in the way.

    Don Miguel didn't mention another important principle; admit when you're wrong. I'm still waiting for the day when someone apologizes to me for an ill perceived fault that ruined our relationship.

     Oh hey, sorry I forgot you had autism, which you mentioned and even explained to me, when you made some tactless remark which I took as a personal affront instead of brushing it off as lack of social skills on your part.

    Yeah, that's never gonna happen. I'll finish with some advice from Kent Keith.

    "People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

    The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. . .

    Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway."