System Overload

  

    Do you ever feel like you're overwhelmed with information? People with ASD or chronic depression often struggle to manage simple daily tasks that end up being too much to handle.

    How can daily life be so hard? As tasks grow, there are more decisions to make, figuring out which ones to attend to requires more thought and energy  but they will strive to the point of failure.

    The depressed person can't get out of bed to do simple tasks because they just don't have the energy. The person with ADHD can be overwhelmed with options, stimulation, and data.

    It's hard to understand how a seemingly normal adult can't function or take a long time to get things done. It's easy, what's the problem? Your arm isn't broken, you manage to dress and talk alright, why do you need help?

    Because your asking a desk calculator to land a spaceship- like Apollo 11. As they approached the landing, an alarm went off that Buzz Aldrin had to repeatedly shut down. Turns out it was the on board computer saying "I'm overwhelmed and about to crash." It took two skilled pilots to land the craft safely. Sometimes we all need help.

    The skills to do certain tasks don't always translate to others. I know a brilliant physicist who can't figure out how to record a message on the phone. I have good basic mechanical skills but I'm immediately frustrated working on a bike.

    Idiot- savant used to mean people like the character in "Rainman." It was dropped for being insensitive but it's kind of accurate. Some abilities are heightened while others simply aren't there. Everyone has good / bad ability but some are more challenged than the others because of the inability to compensate. Bear this in mind the next time you experience system overload.

The Rave: Letting Go

            Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Keith Cobain- how could someone famous do that?  The compulsion to suicide comes from within, and the death of the famous increases the compulsion. It bares the lie sold to us: material wealth does not equal happiness.

            Theodore Roosevelt said "Black care rarely sits behind a rider whose pace is fast enough." and promoted the "strenuous life" as an antidote while his brother drank himself to death.

            The four horsemen of suicide are depression, vulnerability, isolation and despair. Vulnerability in the face of failure at work, relationships, and money. Isolation from others fuels the urge–"no one will miss me". Despair at the unfairness of life chases the rider. Ultimately, the impulsive act boils down to one thing: they let go. The will to hold on is gone. The effort and strain becomes too much so they just let go.

            Suicide is an epidemic in America. According to the CDC suicide increased by 54% in the last decade, 50% die using a gun.

            Helping those who suffer is hard, because you don't know how to ease their pain and the victim feels the same way. Silence is deadly as each side struggles to deal with the demon in their midst. People are afraid to that ask someone about suicidal thoughts fearing it will drive them to the edge when in fact it will pull them back in relief.

            Drugs, therapy and physical activity can keep the black care at bay for only so long but depression is a liar and drains it's victim of the strength, clarity and desire to escape it's grasp. Seeking help is impossible when you feel nothing but desperation. Many have tried and tried and failed.

            Happiness is hard to maintain when it is fleeting and rare. When I do feel joy it's often accompanied by unease or I feel overwhelmed because I'm not used to it. The reverse is true for those who are generally happy and experience a blue funk. It feels unnatural. Depression is a palatable emotional pain, and as debilitating as physical pain. Even with  painkillers, it's still there and there are side effects.           

            Humans have a great capacity to endure enormous stress and trauma and come out the other side more or less intact- how I envy them. Ask a survivor of the holocaust, torture or prison. Then there are some who fold under a seemingly minor ailment or stress.  Despite his luck and prosperity George Eastman, who started the Kodak Film Co. killed himself. Ernest Hemingway raced with death all his life and finally gave up. Survival is for the fittest regardless of their circumstances and everyone has a limit to their endurance. 

            Adding to the horsemen is the current fashion of prejudice and intolerance feeding the isolation and despair.  Messages of comfort and empathy are sadly missing.

            How can you help a loved one who suffers from depression? Be there when they are down and the weight of existence feels too heavy. Talk to them about the things they enjoy or interest them as a distraction from the howl of despair. Listen when they express their pain- it is a balm to their souls.

            Life can be hard, it's harder when one feels deserted, unloved, weak. You can help another to outrun black care.

depression, suicide, Anthony Bourdain