Nippon Here I Come

I am going to Japan. I have dreamed of going all my life. I will be training in the headquarters dojo of the Ki Society and if I’m lucky catch a glimpse of a living treasure Koichi Tohei Sensei ( I actually put my hands on him when he visited the Portland dojo grand opening years before).

After reading several books on the complexity of this polite culture, I am worried I’ll make an ass of myself or worse embarrass the group I’m traveling with. Don’t point, don’t blow your nose in public and for heaven sakes don’t mention the yakuza ( mobsters) theoretically they don’t exist. These are obvious, perhaps, but there are little things to trip you up; there are slippers for indoors and ones used only in the bathroom. Place the chopsticks on the little tray provided, never stick them into the food when done.

On top of this, I don’t like flying ( ten hours both ways). I don’t sleep well in a strange bed, I’m not adventurous with food ( despite my insistence on having Japanese meals) and too timid to just wander off and explore, preferring to stick close to the hotel.

The trip has a lot of sightseeing involved but it sounds suspiciously touristy. I was kind of hoping for more than temples and museums for the nice foreigners to see. There is also the issue of the Japanese language which is difficult for a student let alone a casual traveler. I keep telling myself there will be people around who speak English or can translate but it’s another barrier to full interaction with the natives.

At the risk of writing fiction as my friend Martha says, I’m afraid of being disappointed, exhausted and embarrassed. I’m beginning to have second thoughts about this trip. I do not want to fuck up. I figure the best thing to do is keep my mouth shut, my head down and try to stay out of the way. øf course doing so will make me appear sullen, uncommunicative and dull. People often mistake my silent retreats as rude disinterest. Despite my brash veneer I am often paralyzed with shyness in the presence of strangers and this group might as well be, I barely know any of these people outside of class.

So I’m going to a country with a foreign language and customs with a group of people I’m not familiar with with little advance orientation. What could go wrong?

This is why I stay home.

Go Forth and Multiply. . .Maybe

God hates homosexuals. According to Leviticus He also hates shrimp, cotton/poly blends, and tattoos. So why are those abominations subject to change but homosexuality is still considered a sin?

The discussion about gay marriages brings up the curious logic traditionalists use to defend the sanctity and purpose of a traditional heterosexual marriage.

The Washington State Supreme Court recently upheld a 1998 ban on gay marriages and ruled that “limiting marriage to opposite sex couples furthers procreation, essential to the survival of the human race and furthers the well being of children by encouraging families where children are reared in homes headed by the children’s biological parents.”(they said children three times). Marriage doesn’t promote procreation, but procreation certainly promotes marriage. My parents married because mom got pregnant first. As far as I can tell the institute of marriage has survived the presence of homosexuals and my parents pre-emptive strike.

Recently the Court of Appeals in Oregon upheld the ban on gay marriages. As Nick Graham from the Defense of Marriage Coalition said “Marriage between one man and one woman is ideal for raising children.” True but not all who marry, raise children. (Thank God these out of state people are setting Oregonians straight). Following their logic, should non procreating unions also be banned? Perhaps we should remove children from single parents for their own good. While we're at it, let's get rid of common law unions, I mean a child's parents should be legally married right?

On a planet of six billion people, procreation isn’t the sole purpose of marriage anymore. The weird part is that a gay couple can adopt a child, they just can’t give that children the legal protection marriage offers.

Same sex unions will disrupt the traditional family and harm children, the critics argue, despite numerous studies to the contrary. Critics see same sex marriages as a threat to traditional families. The ruin of the traditional family are dysfunctional parents, shifting social and economic demo graphs, the high divorce rate, and daddy preferring to cruise the internet for porn rather than talk to the family. Blaming those factors is complex and thorny, blaming homosexuals is easier and cheaper.

Opinions about homosexual marriages compares to the public opinion towards interracial marriages. In 1969 when interracial marriages became legal in every state, a Gallup poll showed 75% of Americans disapproved of such marriages. In 1991 that a majority shifted by a slim margin to 48%; today about 30% still disapprove. In a Pew Research Center poll conducted in March 2006, only 51% of Americans opposed marriage for same-sex couples, down from the 65% in 1996. Mind you, this looming, threatening group out to destroy the very fabric of the precious family as we know it, comprises less than 10% of the general population.

Banning gay marriages could lead to further discrimination. What’s to stop the morality police from outlawing common law marriages between heterosexual couples? Will they demand that all marriages be sanctified in the church of their choice or your marriage will be null and void by the state and your children considered bastards like the good old days? Will they demand that the state prosecute those who commit adultery like recent cases in Virginia, Massachusetts, Alabama, and Pennsylvania? Louisiana recently voted to ban heterosexual civil unions as well as same-sex marriages.

Marriage isn’t defended by preventing people from marrying. Reducing the 51% divorce rate and stopping spousal abuse are more positive and productive ways to protect it. People once believed that interracial marriage or allowing women to vote would weaken the American family. It hasn’t and I doubt allowing gays to enter into a monogamous, loving marriage is going to either.

Did Adam Have a Belly Button?

I have written primarily about aikido on this site and will continue to do so. I also want to practice the art of the essay and hope, dear reader, you will be entertained by my efforts. These essays are not meant to anger anyone or cause heated debate but to make you think more deeply about the world around you. Consider them lessons in critical thinking. I am interested in making you look at things from a different perspective and possibly find solutions to some problems.

I spend a lot of time thinking, that’s what writers do. I’m one one of those people who wonders about deep subjects like reality, metaphysics and social behavior. In the last week I have pondered small scale construction techniques, how legalized hemp farming could save Oregon’s economy, the meaning of several vivid dreams I’ve had and deciphering the design and creation of crop circles. Those are small potatoes compared to contemplating the nature of fear and how it drives us, the purpose of reincarnation and sharpening my psychic abilities through meditation and ki training.

I don’t know the answers but I enjoy the task of finding them. I like a good intellectual puzzle better than chocolate. Thinking is what I do best. Whether it’s figuring out the meaning of life, organizing my writing or figuring out what happens next to the characters in my latest novel.

And why do men have nipples?

The video evidence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WalBr96x058

I'm new to this sensei thing

“Well do you feel any different with your black belt?” Sensei asked.

“Other than a wedgie from the high inseam of the hakama, not really.”

Thus ended my first class with my shiny new rank. It was strange to be seating there listening to the teacher then bow to see black draping my legs. I haven’t gotten use to the students calling me sensei-it’s kind of embarrassing but I don’t mind them folding the hakama. I thought that would be an issue as I am egalitarian the way I treat others and I generally eschew rank distinctions. I discovered how much I don’t like folding them-not because I can’t, the anal retentive in me loves to fold them correctly as much as I love folding a map but I was glad I didn’t have two to fold; mine and someone else’s.

It’s too early to say how this will affect my training, hopefully not much at all. God forbid I begin to think I know what the fuck I’m doing and corrupt some poor newbie with my limited, clumsy understanding.

I feel like I do when working as a volunteer at the library. I sit at the second floor reference desk and when people ask for information, I have to direct them to real librarians.

My sensei thought it funny to show up for class and tell me she wasn’t feeling well and I had to teach that night. Don’t do that! It reminded me that when she took her black belt test on the same day the senior instructor ripped his ankle during his sandan test and was in a leg brace for weeks afterwards, she had to teach class.

That day is bound to come, let’s hope I am ready for it.

Shodan Diary

"Success is a rare thing"

I hesitate to say how wonderful a day I had for fear something terrible will happen to ruin it. I have strived a long time for this goal. I don’t know how to describe how I feel it because it’s such a new experience for me.

Gaining black belt rank in aikido is not a easy thing. Those who have, will dismiss it as no big deal while humbly acknowledging the hard work to gain it. It is hard work and I too, am grateful of the achievement.

It was like any trip to Sunday class in Portland except a dear friend who doesn’t train drove me up instead of one of the other instructors from Eugene. It promised to be clear and warm after several false starts at Spring. Indeed everyone worked up a sweat in the intense aikido class. After a half hour break we had ki class taught by Tabata Sensei, considered to be one of the top instructors in the country.

Class ends and the aikido testing begins immediately. A table is set up at the corner of the mat and the chief instructors sit in judgment. I go first thankfully. I don’t like watching someone else go first while I fret about technique and worry my performance won’t measure up. It’s an actor thing. It also give me time to rest during the other test before the grand finale of rondori.

My partner Steve and I moved smoothly through the waza (arts) as they are called out. I made a few goofs but instead of scolding myself for them I merrily make the corrections. (Although now looking back I am less pleased with my errors). I am asked to do Jo Number One, a set of movements with a four foot staff. I begin and immediately realize I’m doing the wrong one.

“Oops that’s number two let me do that again.” and I sit down to restart. This is a major no-no because I should have just finished what I began. I catch Tabata Sensei frowning at me like what the hell is she doing?

The next big goof is when Steve trys to cut me with a wooden sword and as I take it away from him I put my hand on what would be the sharp blade of a real sword. This is immediately spotted by the senseis. I was kind of hoping they wouldn’t notice that but they know what to look for, rats. I do it two more times before I get it right.

A test is not a pass or fail affair. You aren’t considered for a test until they feel you are ready, so the goofs aren’t held against you( except they expect you will never make the same mistake again).

At last comes rondori. We had been practicing it in aikido class with some success but the teacher was concerned that I wasn’t “popping up” fast enough from a sitting position when you start. He’s not the only one, this body isn’t exactly a toaster.

Tabata Sensei stands at the front of the dojo as five people line up on one side of the mat while I sit on the other side. He impresses on me the importance of staying calm, keeping one point. I feel like a rider on the top of a roller coaster about to plunge down the first drop.

We bow, he shouts “Begin” and the next thing I know I’m standing and wondering what is taking these guys so long to get to me. Mind you they are coming at me in a dead run. Ok I’ll take this one over here first. They roll, get up and return for another attempt. The rest is a blur as I continue to brush them off. A couple of times they almost succeed but I calmly go on, refusing to let them get to me. At one point I step back - DON’T DO THAT! I shout to myself and move forward thereafter. Finally I hear the teacher clap two wooden blocks together as the signal to stop. We return to our original places and bow. The entire thing last 30 seconds.

We formally end with everyone lined up and bowing to Tabata Sensei. There is applause and congratulations from all the instructors for me and Diane. I can barely contain my emotions as years of effort and desire finally pay off. By the time my sensei comes up to me , I’m in tears and she gives me a big hug. Later as I’m changing, Mindy one of the ukes in rondori, congratulates me.

“I had fun attacking you.” she said.

“What a coincidence I had fun throwing you.”

As I look at the group of instructors toasting the new shodans I feel palatable relief that it’s over and I am one of THEM. Not that it will make much difference. Like graduating from one grade to the next, now I’m the freshman and target for endless ribbing. I am also informed that I am expected to be a responsible role model in class. I glance around doing a “Who me?”double take.

I have climbed the mountain to discover I've only scaled one hill. Just another milestone on the journey with aikido.

I Did it! I'm a Shodan

Yes boy and girls, the fat chick has reached one of her goals. This morning I tested for black belt and made it through with only a couple of goofs. I did one of my best rondoris ever ( video will be coming soon). I'm too tired, excited and shell shocked to write now but a full report will be posted soon. Now I'm ready to learn aikido.

Oh sure, but does it work in real life?

"Like the calm still surface of the water that reflects the moon and a flying bird"


No matter how hard I try, no matter how long I train to be calm, cool and collected, there is always something that can drive me crazy. The computer. Despite the years of using one, whenever there is some breakdown it never fails to send me into orbit. You know the feeling too, don’t deny it. Here I am gearing up for the big test and my personal demon comes along to remind me how easily I am upset.

I’m not fazed by the Shodan test, I have been doing dry runs all months so I know what to expect and how to deal with it. Real life is not predictable. With that in mind, I suggest a more realistic test.

Keep one point- while standing on a wobbly ladder while changing a light bulb, reaching for that coat buried in the back of the closet shelf or putting up christmas lights outside in the rain, in high winds.

Relax completely- while riding in a car with an over caffeinated twenty year old playing Guns N Roses at ear splitting volume and complaining that the car in front, a mere bumpers length away, is driving too slow.

Keep weight underside- while listening to your parent / spouse /soon to be ex best friend expound on your short comings. Why are you still dating that idiot? Why don’t you lose some weight? Why aren’t you married yet and giving me grandchildren?

Extend ki -while the teenage pimple faced sales clerk with the IQ of a gerbil try's to ring up your credit card purchase on their first ( and last ) day working at JC Penney/ Macdonalds/ local CD store.

And last but not least for Rondori -change the diaper on one child while another one screams at the top of their lungs, answer the phone and sign for the UPS delivery at the front door. You have one minute.

For more information and an explanations on the four principles I refer to check out:
http://people.reed.edu/~erikg/kitraining.html

A reak shodan test

No matter how hard I try, no matter how long I train to be calm, cool and collected, there is always something that can drive me crazy. The computer. Despite the years of using one, whenever there is some breakdown it never fails to send me into orbit. You know the feeling too, don’t deny it. Here I am gearing up for the big test and my personal demon comes along to remind me how easily I am upset.

I’m not fazed by the Shodan test, I have been doing dry runs all months so I know what to expect and how to deal with it. Real life is not predictable. With that in mind, a more realistic test is in order.

Keep one point while standing on a wobbly ladder while changing a light bulb, reaching for that coat buried in the back of the closet shelf or putting up christmas lights outside in the rain, in high winds.

Relax completely while riding in a car with an over caffeinated twenty year old playing Guns N Roses at ear splitting volume and complaining that the car in front, a mere bumpers length away, is driving too slow.

Keep weight underside while listening to your parent / spouse /soon to be ex best friend expound on your short comings. Why are you still dating that idiot? Why don’t you lose some weight? Why aren’t you married yet and giving me grandchildren?

Extend ki while the teenage pimple faced sales clerk with the IQ of a gerbil try's to ring up your credit card purchase on their first ( and last ) day working at JC Penney/ Macdonalds/ local CD store.

And last but not least for Rondori -change the diaper on one child while another one crys at the top of their lungs, answer the phone and sign for the UPS delivery at the front door. You have one minute.

This test is going to be a snap.

For more information and an explanation son the four principles I refer to check out:
http://people.reed.edu/~erikg/kitraining.html