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| from The Netflix show "I'm An Entertainer" |
I was having a lively discussion with some friends on the whole gender identity pronoun issue. We older folks agreed that he, she, they, whatever was confusing. Up to now in the world there was masculine and feminine but now there is this in between we don't understand.
Personally I don't care which gender, orientation, or species you are, I'm going to treat everyone the same.
One woman in the group got in trouble with co-workers when she accidently used the wrong pronoun and weeks later is still treated as an outcast. Another said she is anxious whenever she has to deal with a trans gender for fear of doing the same thing.
One guest who has experience with trans genders informed us, if you're not sure ask which pronoun they prefer- ask, they love that. Um no. They may glow at the opportunity but I find the idea awkward. I think it's weird when someone asks me what pronoun I prefer-
" Well I have boobs that makes me a woman." as if this wasn't obvious. Even if it is obvious, apparently the answer is fraught with danger.
What's really going on is two different levels of conversation. One is about semantics- which words to use and their meaning and the other is about social perception of the self.
Trans genders want acceptance, I can dig that, we all want that but getting hostile because confused people aren't immediately accepting to a new paradigm doesn't help anyone.
I mentioned that English is limited with pronouns because unlike other languages we don't assign gender to things, -the car is masculine, the chair is feminine etc. so maybe we need to create a new pronoun and one friend offered a novel solution and borrow from the French. Elle is she and Il is he so let's use the compound pronoun Eil which is neutral and pronounced yell, which is close enough to y'all ( because we don't have a plural you.)
It's a changing world and language changes organically not by thunderous decree. Instead of scorn at someone who is not hip to change- cut them some slack to get used to saying eil- y'all.
BTW I'm experimenting with new formats, so I may add quotes, photos or cartoons a week plus an essay and if there is enough interest, a chapter bi monthly of my novel Shop Talk. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading.
3 comments:
Lovely! I remember this conversation.
I like the idea of your posting you in different media. Go for it!
I'm workin on the "she/her" ... it's the "they/them" singular?
Martha
A changing world needs a changing vocabulary. I’d like a term for an adult woman who is in a committed relationship but are not married. Girlfriend? Too youthful
Partner? Often associated wit being gay
Significant other? Too formal.
Fiancé? A misnomer-Not getting married
And where did “cis” as in cis male originate?
And- to is now pronounced ta.
And finally- I think “they” get hostile because they may still be confused about their sexuality/ gender identification. And- may previously have experienced rejection.
Read PAGEBOY. By (Ellen Page- transition)
They/ them is singular if you are talking about- not to- them.
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