The Seat of the Soul is Your But. . .

 

         It's another gray morning as I sit at the dining room table struggling with a New York Times crossword puzzle.        

         "Boss do you ever think about the soul?" Ben the Ficus says suddenly. Where did this come from I wonder.

         "Um, occasionally, why do you ask?" I reply a bit startled. Ben is silent so long I think he's asleep again, but his leaves rustle and I hear a thoughtful sigh emerge.

         " Oh I was musing on that book Gary Zukav wrote,"

         "The Dancing Wu Li Masters?" I hope so, because I actually know one of them.

         "No The Seat of the Soul," He says, still in a distracted state.

         "Oh that book is horseshit," I dismiss to cover my surprise that a house plant can read.

         "Yeah I suppose, but what is the soul? He gives out a small snort. "I don't know, I'm just a plant," he says with finality. It's not like him to give up on a debate, although this is deeper than the usual discussions about the news, social chaos and how badly the next Batman movie will suck.

         "Oh no, you can't drop a philosophical grenade in my lap like that and walk away, pick it up buddy," I challenge him.

         "Ok I think mystics and physicists are talking about the same thing, but from wildly different frames of reference," he says at last.

         "Go on," I can't wait to see where this left turn goes.

         "Look at Shamanism vs. Science. One is focused on rituals to understand the altered states of consciousness, while the other sees reality in a purely materialistic way. But there seems to be little mention of the soul as a source of existence."         

         "I think you're on the right track, spirit and consciousness get thrown around interchangeably. Scientists have a hard time seeing a mind, body connection and metaphysics tend to use spirit instead of soul, because the word is favored by religious sorts. They are talking about the same thing,"

         "Why are scientist so afraid of that concept?"

         "Because, like the existence of God, it can't be proven empirically."

         "So the existence of the soul is seen as an article of faith?" he says, dumbfounded.

         Well this is going to take some time to answer. I go to the bathroom- the best place to contemplate such things and of course there is a knock at the door.

         It's Gwen the plant lady come to check on Ben and my other plants. She let's herself in while I fuss with my drab blond hair. I emerge to hear her talking.

         "I'm sorry what did you say?" I ask.

         "I was talking to Ben about his roots," she answers, as if this is obvious.

         "You can hear him?" I thought I was the nutty one here.

         "Honey I work with plants all day, remember?"

         Oh right, the Wise Woman in disguise. Maybe she can answer his deep questions, cause I sure as hell can't.

         She's happy to report the plants are in good shape despite my floral neglect.

         "That's because Mister Snooty here will cough and wheeze melodramatically that he's dry so I end up watering all the plants. I don't know why I put up with him," I inform her in exasperation.

         The ficus plant is really a small tree. It's fickle about lighting, doesn't like change, requires attention in watering and . . .hmm, I'm seeing the affinity here.

         Gwen gives me a curious look.

         " He's a lesson for you," She says with meaning.

          A lesson in what? Am I the student? I thought she was the teacher here. As I watch her tend to a palm plant I feel my temper rise in direct proportion to my sinking self esteem and struggle to control my resentment.

         "I'm not going to gain enlightenment from a fucking plant," I sneer in disdain. Gwen merely smiles and shrugs.

         "No dear, you're the teacher," she replies and the other plants thrum in agreement.

         I am stunned into silence and remind myself that I need to listen to that small inner voice when it tells me to shut up and listen.

         

 

        

 

 

 

        

Helmet of the Month

I was updating a friend on my progress with "Shop Talk 2 The Big Race". This is helmet I wear in the final chapter although I won't need the mask. It's a story with props.

New Age Warrior

 

                                        The Seven Samurai/ Kurosawa

 

 

You can be born to the path of a warrior and never hurt anyone, 

but to deny what's in you is wrong. -Scott Glenn

 

         "You're in a dark mood today," Ben says while I sit with my tea in the dinning room basking in the morning light.

          " Last night someone quite deliberately and maliciously smashed a glass insulator I had on the front porch." I say at last. Ben gasps.

         "Any idea who did it?"

         " I have my suspicions."

         "Are you going go after him?" he says with some hesitation, knowing my terrible temper.

         "No, it's just a hunch and besides I don't engage in cowardly retaliation," I  say truthfully. He scoffs in disbelief.

           I've had several bikes stolen and my property tampered with before and as much as I rail against the acts, my inner warrior will not permit petty revenge. I know how much people disrespect property or possessions but I don't stoop to skulking around and trespass. When I get even with someone, they know it's me.

         "What happened to all that talk about being a warrior?" Ben seems confused by my sober reply. I explain that a true warrior is not concerned with power or personal vendettas.

          For hundreds of years Japanese society had a rigid social class system one never strayed from. Bushido, the code samurai honored, applied to how they treated their equals, not the peasants or merchants beneath them. There was a dark side, where trampling a farmer with a horse or cutting down a villager who didn't bow quickly enough was acceptable.

          That all changed in the late nineteenth century when the Shogun abdicated his power and disbanded the samurai. The class, weapons, and privilege were gone but the nobler ideals remained.

          Kurosawa reimagined the myth furtherer with "The Seven Samurai" where a group of ronin or masterless samurai protected a village of poor farmers not some rich daimyo. A concept picked up in the Western where the lone gunman comes to rescue the town folk from baddies.

         Honor, respect, and protection of all are concepts the modern martial artist must cultivate.

         "This one seems like a no brainer," he says, the heat rising in his tone.

         "You're awfully blood thirsty, what are you a Venus flytrap?" I say jokingly in a an attempt to cool the both of us.

         Story time. A samurai's duty is to defend his master's honor. A local bad mouthed him so the samurai went looking for the poor guy to settle the matter. He found him in a noodle shop and approached, drawing his sword. The terrified guy, seeing he was cornered, spit in the samurai's face, who promptly stopped, sheathed his sword and left.

         " I don't get it," Ben says after a long thoughtful pause.

         "If he had killed the man at that moment it would have been personal, not duty. Choose your battles wisely," I say as I sip tea and contemplate the sunlight.

Time For Art

 

                                                 Hillside no.1 watercolor for Sale $100

 

A restful hillside

painted from mothers memory

better than reality

Sci Fi Movies to Watch

 

The Day the Earth Stood Still 1951 Director: Robert Wise, Writer: Hugh Blustein  Cast: Patricia Neal, Michael Rennie, Hugh Marlowe, Billie Gray.

         An alien lands his ship on a baseball field in Washington D.C. where he promptly gets shot, goes undercover to understand us, is discovered, gets shot again and is revived by a towering robot to delivers an important message to humanity.

          One of my all time favorite. A film whose message is still relevant. Wise's direction and the music score played on a Thermin give the film a somber atmosphere.

 

Wavelength 1983 Writer/Director: Mike Gray. Cast: Robert Carradine, Cherie Currie, Keenan Wynn. 

          A young couple stumble upon a secret base in the desert of Southern California where the military are keeping aliens in hibernation and decide to liberate them.

         No over blown drama, costly special effects or a big cast, instead, Wavelength is a quiet, riveting story. There is a simple, honest realism that makes it work. I'm still mystified why this isn't a cult classic.

 

Silent Running 1972 Director: Douglas Trumbull Writer: Michael Cimino, Deric Washburn. Cast: Bruce Dern, Cliff Potts, Ron Rifkin.

         In a future where all flora is extinct on Earth, an astronaut is given orders to destroy the last of Earth's botany, kept in a greenhouse aboard a spacecraft. He decides otherwise with the help of some handy drone robots.

         The message of this film rings truer than ever. Dern's character is not that likeable but more so than his fellow crew, who deserve what they get.

         Director Douglas Trumbull and other SFX masters John Dykstra and Richard Yuricich worked on "Star Wars" because of the state-of-the-arts special effects they did for this film, effects that still hold up almost 50 years later. The use of amputees as the drones is very clever.

 

The Andromeda Strain  1971 Director: Robert Wise Screenplay: Nelson Gidding based on the novel by Michael Crichton. Cast: Arthur Hill, James Olson, David Wayne, Kate Reid, Paula Kelly.

         When virtually all of the residents of Piedmont, New Mexico, are found dead after the return to Earth of a space satellite, the head of the US Air Force's Project Scoop declares an emergency. In a secret military lab, scientist try to isolate an alien bacteria found in the satellite and figure out why two residents weren't killed by it.

         The film is visually perfect without fancy special effects. The production design is stunning. The story remains faithful to the novel, the acting is superb and the climax thrilling. This is how a sci-fi movie is done.

 

2001 A Space Odyssey 1968 Director: Stanley Kubrick Screenplay: Stanley Kubrick, Arthur C. Clarke. Cast: Keir Dullea, Gary Lockwood, William Sylvester, Douglas Rain.

         After discovering a mysterious artifact buried beneath the Lunar surface, mankind sets off on a quest to find its origins with help from intelligent supercomputer HAL who turns on the crew when they decide to shut him down.

         Much has been written about 2001. It is first class filmmaking on so many levels. Visuals effects (by Douglas Trumbull) story, direction and acting. The soundtrack alone is amazing.

 

The Ice Pirates 1984 Director: Stewart Raffill Screenplay: S Raffill, Standford Sherman. Cast: Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Ron Perlman.

         In space water is the most valuable substance. Two pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disappeared when he found information dangerous to the rulers.

         A wacky space opera with sword fights, explosions, and fighting robots galore. It has cheap effects, raunchy humor and a silly plot. Great for rainy night watching with some popcorn and beer.

 

Galaxy Quest 1999 Director: Dean Parisot Screenplay: David Howard. Cast: Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell, Darryl Mitchell, Enrico Colantoni, Justin Long.

         The alumni cast of a sci fi television series have to play their roles for real when an alien race needs their help to defend Earth and the alien race from a reptilian warlord.

         This is a near perfect spoof a genre in dire need of lampooning. Star Trek is the unspoken but clear target along with a cast that plays along with the joke. God this is one funny film.

 

Battle Beyond the Stars 1980 Director: Jimmy Murakami and (uncredited) Roger Corman. Screenplay: John Sayles. Cast: Richard Thomas, George Peppard, Robert Vaughn, John Saxon, Darlanne Fluegel, Sybil Danning.

         A young farmer sets out to recruit mercenaries to defend his peaceful planet, which is under threat of invasion by the evil tyrant Sador and his armada of aggressors.

         This film sounds good on paper. Great director (Corman) well known cast and screenplay by successful screenwriter and director John Sayles. James Cameron (yes that Cameron) worked on production along with his future wife and co producer Gale Ann Hurd. James Horner who did the score.

         It ends up being a low budget homage to Star Wars and the Magnificent Seven which was based on The Seven Samurai. Peppard sends up the tough guy roles he was known for, Robert Vaughn is basically the same character he was in Magnificent Seven, lifting whole chunks of dialogue as well. John Saxon made a career as the bad guy and Richard Thomas was breaking away from his Waltons character John Boy. Not a comedy per se but has lots of unintentional humor that makes it an entertaining bit of froth.

Food Glorious Food part 2

 

         A couple of points before diving into recipes. Butter makes everything taste better. If you're cooking with olive oil it's European, if palm or sesame oil, it's Asian. Baking beyond cookies or pie should be left to wizards.

         I mentioned mise a place before because it's important to have the ingredients ready so you're not running around, forgetting something or cutting yourself with the knife in your haste. Despite what you may see on TV, cooking is not a race against the clock. Take your time. Prep work allows you to gauge how everything will get cooked /finished at the same time. Enjoy the process.

          Amounts aren't listed because a serving size is a relative thing. Figure out how much you can eat and multiple for others. I always make two serving cause seconds are good and you can always have leftovers for lunch the next day. Some want more garlic, some less, maybe you'll skip the pepper cause it's too spicy or use a tiny bit. Don't be afraid to experiment with proportions.

         Pasta is always sexy. Want the proof? Check out this recipe from the film "The Chef".

Scarlett Spaghetti Oilo

pasta

olive oil,

garlic, chili flakes, parsley

salt, pepper

 butter

parmesan cheese

         Use large pan because past requires a lot of space. Salt generously, bring to a slow boil, add pasta. Before draining, reserve some of the water. Meanwhile, Saute thinly sliced garlic in olive oil over medium heat until slightly brown, add chili flakes, parsley and butter. Drain pasta and add to the saute pan along with half a cup of the reserved water (per serving). Mix until everything is heated-serve immediately. Garnish with shaved cheese.

 

Pizza

The perfect food good hot or cold. Round thin crust is traditionally Neapolitan. Roman crust is square and heavier. A meatball sandwich is just a pizza on a roll.

You can make pizza dough from scratch but if you're a beginner, buy the pre made stuff. I use Boboli brand crust. Feel free to add as many toppings as you like.

Pizza dough

tomato sauce

toppings galore

mozzarella

garlic, basil, parsely, salt pepper

olive oil

         Sprinkle crust with olive oil and spread tomato sauce thinly over the whole surface. Add grated mozzarella cheese, herbs, etc. and bake at 425 until the crust is browned and the cheese is nice and creamy. Remove and let it rest for 5 minutes. The cool down period prevents the cheese from melting off the crust when you cut it into slices.Variation:

Pizza Margherita

tomato sauce, spread it out thinish

basil leaves, use the fresh stuff

grated or chunks of mozzarella cheese

too make it really robust, chorizo or short ribs (yum)

Bon Apetit

Food Glorious Food

          I befriended a chef trained at the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) who watched me cook one day. I took ground beef out of the fridge to make a burger and placed it in a cool pan as usual.

         "What are you doing? Take that out of the pan now!" he said in alarm. I thought the man was going to have a heart attack so I did.

         Once he calmed down, he informed me that the patty should first "rest" at room temperature for about 10 minutes then be placed in a "God awful hot" dry (no oil) pan and left alone until brown around the edge then turned over- and that's it.

         It was the start of a series of lessons in basics. All refrigerated food should rest at room temperature before cooking and be lightly sprinkled with salt to bring out the flavor. Also good for reducing moisture. Always taste the food as you cook to determine seasoning. Prepare all the ingredients before hand ( mise en place in French). Keep your fingers visible and clear of the knife at all times- as I found out the hard way. Never leave cooking unattended, like wandering off to check on the computer. "If it's charred it's Cajun," The chef informed me.

         Americans have been brainwashed into accepting convenient, processed food then wonder why everyone is so fat. We don't use enough fresh herbs, meat and fruit. Shop local, fresh ingredients as much as possible. It will take a bit more time and money but it's worth it. You will have better quality food, it's good for the environment and keeps the economy local.

         Cook over open flame as apposed to a heating element. I know that sounds snobbish but it's true. You can control the heat better. I grew up with gas stoves so when I first moved to an apartment in Eugene I was confused by the push button controls on the electric stove. What is this, fucking Star Trek? The most important purchase I made when I got a house was a bad ass gas stove.

         Which reminds me, kill your microwave. Seriously, it's not a replicator, a faster meal is not a better meal. It's good for popcorn, reheating leftovers and steaming broccoli and that's about it.

         Forget about watching so called cooking shows. Most are thinly disguised game shows and teach you nothing. That goes for most tutorials on YouTube. People speeding through the recipe, skipping steps and showing off. Check out "America's Test Kitchen " or "Great Chefs of Europe" on PBS for practical advise.

         Julia Childs is still regarded as a Goddess to chefs for god reason. Her book  and show updated American cuisine stuck in the 19th century. She wasn't afraid to be seen screwing up and approached cooking with humor.

         You may not be ready for "The Art of French Cooking" If you are just starting to learn but there are three easy meals anyone can cook. Pizza, hamburger, and casseroles.

         There are tons of cook books out there but if you're not sure where to start, go to the library and pick out one in the series by Sunset Magazine. They cover all kinds of cuisine and the recipes are easy to follow.

         For ideas and ingredients I use Better Homes and Garden New Cook Book and "Dad's Own Cook Book" by Bob Sloan, If you are ambitious about the science of food I recommend "Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat" by Samin Nosrat.          

         Remember cooking should be fun not a chore, start simple, go easy an yourself and bon appetit.

 

Samurai Gaijin

 

      

       "What are you looking at? " Ben asked, peeking over my shoulder while I was on the computer.

         "Oh just some swords," I said off handedly. Ben the ficus plant has been intensely curious about everything since I managed to spring him and myself out of the loony bin.

         "Oh that's a good looking one," He gushes at a the photo on a site that sells "authentic" samurai swords.

         "Oh please, anything less than carbon steel is for show," I replied, as if I knew anything about quality swords.

         I have always wanted a sword since I first held a bokken, a wooden one, in aikido class. I knew instinctively the correct way to hold it, like an ancient memory from a past life. The weight felt right but in this life I was a short plump woman not a sinewy warrior with arms well muscled from years of training.

         "How about that on?" Ben interrupted my reverie.

         "That's a katana, too long," I answered. The problem is I have a short reach so that's out of the question. I click to another page showing short swords.

          I recently became interested in Iaido since sword technique is limited in aikido.      

         Iaido, the art of drawing the sword, is a blend of Zen, Shintoism with a little Bushido thrown in. It's emphasis is on a precise, fluid, controlled motion of the quick draw and careful return of the sword to the sheath or saya. It looks totally cool too.

         "Don't you have a short sword already?" Ben means the dress wakizashi on display in the hall that my brother gave me years ago.

         "It's about as effective as a butter knife," I explained.

          If someone was dumb enough to challenge me I would gladly let them use that sword thinking they had an advantage while I could knock them out with the bokken. If Musashi Miyamoto only needed a boat oar to win a duel well, against the clueless, no contest.

         The fantasy is ridiculous to a true martial artist and searching on line depressed me so I quit  and returned to my daily writing with a heavy sigh.

         " You're not going to get one?" Ben knew that sound all too well.

         "No, I could have purchased one while I was in Japan years ago."        

The group I was with stopped at a sword shop and I asked to see a cheap one on display. I calculated my bank balance and demurred.

         "I should have bought it but the truth is -" I paused as emotion swelled in me.

" I prefer to earn one." I managed in a resigned tone.

         Anyone can buy one, pretend to be bad ass but the old warrior in me knew how  hollow that felt. To me the sword is a symbol of a level of achievement on the path to understanding. I got my shodan but it didn't bestow the kind of insight I hoped for. It was just another step, not completion. Therein lay the stinging disappointment to an impatient soul.

         "Ah I understand sensei." Ben said solemnly.

 

( A word about some terms. Gaijin means foriegner. Shodan is first degree black belt and Sensei is used to address instructors. Bushido is the samurai code of behavior. A samurai carried two swords, a short wakizashi and a longer Katana. Musashi Miyamoto was arguably Japan's greatest and deadliest swordsman. He won 61 duels and lived thru numerous battles then retired to a cave to wrote his masterpiece of strategy "The Book of Five Rings". )

My Date With Autism Live!

 I posted a comedy bit earlier and this show features some of the jokes -I think.

A Rose by Any Other Name-is Still a Sharp Angry Plant. . .

 They say a picture is worth a thousand words, well, a clever turn of phase is pretty wonthy too. Have this list handy the next time you need to impress people with your borrowed wit.

In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is wildly regarded as a bad idea. Douglas Adams

 

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.  H.L. Mencken 

 

If a cat spoke it would say things like "Hey, I don't see the problem here." Roy Blount Jr.

 

Sex is good but not as good as fresh sweet corn. Garrison Keillor

 

I used to pay attention, but now it costs too much. Alisa McLaughlin

 

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried. Mae West

 

Good luck is when the arrow hits the fellow next to you. Socrates

 

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz

 

The computer is down, I hope it's something serious. Stanton Delaplane.

 

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. Michael Winner, British director

 

Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller

 

Three pm is always too late or too early to do anything you want.  Jean Paul Sarte

 

This is no time for ease and comfort. It is a time to dare and endure. Winston Churchill

 

Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.  Will Rogers

 

Do the right thing, it will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain

 

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock. Will Rogers

 

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.  Mort Sahl

 

Life is easier than you think: accept the impossible, do without the indispensible, and bear the intolerable. Kathleen Norris

 

Propaganda is the art of persuading others of what you don't believe yourself. Abba Eban

 

While faith is nice, doubt is what gets you an education. John Lahr

 

If you’re not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. Malcolm X

 

If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time. Edith Wharton

 

The most courageous act is to think for yourself. Coco Chanel

 

We are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different. Kurt Vonnegut

 

The world is not yet entirely perfect and I'm getting impatient. Ashleigh Brilliant

 

You can be born to the path of a warrior and never hurt anyone, but to deny what's in you is wrong. Scott Glenn

 

If I'm too strong for some people, that's their problem. Glenda Jackson

 

 

Let's Get Mental

        I am glad to have a guest post today from Frank King. I met him thru a "Stand Up for Mental Health" comedy writing class he taught. Frank is a successful professional comedian and very focused on discussing Mental Health and suicide prevention-especially with men. His article touches on the issue of mental health in the work place.

         This is a subject we can not shy away from simply because it's uncomfortable, especially in these very stressful times. Handling depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies are too important to ignore.

         If you know someone having trouble with these issues, engage them in enjoyable topics of interest for them as a relief from the downward spiral of depression. You may not be an expert in mental health but by being there for them, talking to them and helping them find an expert will save their life.

 

 Mental Health at Work

         A suicide occurs every 11 minutes in the United States. These incidents touch every industry. However, some industries that have felt the impact of suicide in recent years—construction, extraction, mining, fishing, farming, forestry, and wait for it…healthcare.

         These industries are a kind of perfect storm of all the risk factors that we know contribute to suicide risk,” says Sally Spencer-Thomas, lead of the Workplace Task Force within the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention.

         Sally Spencer-Thomas is a rock star in the world of suicide prevention in the workplace, my mental health mentor, good friend and a co-author with me and Sarah W. Gaer on our book on men’s mental health, “Guts, Grit and the Grind, a Men’s Mental Mechanical Manual.” 

         That perfect storm that Sally spoke of involves several factors that may contribute to such a high suicide rate. First, workers in these high at-risk industries, including healthcare, in the U.S. are predominantly white, middle-aged males, who have the highest rate of suicide among the general population. In addition to this demographic data, elements within these industries can play a role in workers not talking about issues that can lead to suicide or not seek help if they need it. 

           “The culture of stoicism and self-reliance in these industries for example, certainly makes for dedicated and hard workers, but it also increases risk for suicide in that this occupational group is least likely to reach out when there’s a problem,” says Spencer-Thomas. She emphasizes that when discussing suicide in your workforce, it’s important to look beyond mental health to other factors that can contribute to suicide, including job strain, sleep disruption, bullying or harassment, and other workplace and environmental stressors.

         Preventing Suicide with all of this in mind, what can safety and human resource professionals, supervisors and employers do to help prevent suicide and get workers the resources and assistance they need? A major roadblock to addressing this issue is the stigma that has surrounded the issues of depression and suicide and the reluctance to talk about it. For many years, these have been unmentionable subjects, making it all the more difficult for those who may be contemplating suicide to get the help they need.

         After all, big boys (and girls) don’t cry, much less share their feelings. One of the most effective ways to do this is to simply talk to workers about what is going on in their lives so that they feel they have an outlet to discuss issues they are experiencing. “There’s an enormous taboo around this topic that is extremely unhelpful,” says Norman Ritchie, director, VPSI Group LLC. “The only way to break through that is to talk about it with your workforce and make it the subject of safety meetings and company communications.

         Ritchie encourages management, supervisors, workers and safety and human resource professionals to remember that everyone on their workforce, male or female, is a human being with their own issues and difficulties, and to do everything they can to connect with them on a personal level. “You have to look at the humanity of the workforce,” he says. “By starting a conversation and being aware of those types of things, if there are people who are in a difficult situation, it provides an opportunity to bring that to the surface.” Along with the danger that workers may pose to themselves, Ritchie emphasizes that unless these issues are discussed, these situations can present hazards in the workplace as well. “The worse you’re doing personally, the more risk you present to yourself, your colleagues and to the work,” he says.

         There is a concept called presenteeism, meaning that the person is physically present at work, but mentally absent, which often makes them a risk to themselves, and given the particular work environment, a risk to coworkers and patients as well. Spencer-Thomas echoes the need for better communication about this issue and creating an environment where workers are comfortable discussing personal difficulties and are provided a supportive network that will guide them to the resources they need.

         She emphasizes that it is important for leadership to set the tone around this issue by making suicide prevention a health and safety priority. “We don’t know that this is happening with a person unless we have conversations about it. There’s no X-ray, there’s no diagnostic test, no check engine light (wouldn’t that be convenient) that tells us, the only way in is through conversation,” she says. “For workers to feel they can open up about it, we have to have a certain level of trust.” Developing that trust is one area where Spencer-Thomas sees the potential for safety professionals to have a big impact.

         The environments where she has seen safety cultures thrive are those in which workers are actively looking out for each other’s safety and well-being. Like a scuba diving partner or a battle buddy, you watch each other’s back, and in this case brain as well. By applying that same mentality into psychological safety and well-being, safety and human resource professionals can help create a culture in which workers are comfortable starting conversations with each other about the personal issues they are facing. When having a conversation with a colleague about personal difficulties, keep these three keys in mind to work toward a positive result. 1. Listen. Be a good listener for your colleagues. Often, all a co-worker may need is for someone to listen and understand what they are going through. During the process of talking through the problems they are facing, people may be able to find a solution.

         The QPR Institute, SafeTalk and Working Minds offer guidance on training personnel on what to look for in someone who may be at risk for suicide and how to start a conversation. 2. Ask direct questions. Difficult as it may be, it’s important to be direct about the topic of suicide and to approach it in a way that is compassionate and empowering, to let the person know that someone is there for them to provide partnership and support throughout their struggle. 3. Direct them to qualified resources. Once you’ve started the conversation and brought underlying issues to the surface, the important next step is to put the person in touch with the appropriate resources.

         Organizations such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Working Minds and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration provide tools and treatment resources for those in need of assistance. For those organizations with employee assistance programs, Spencer-Thomas emphasizes the need for employers to ensure that suicide prevention resources are accessible, and personnel are trained in state-of-the art suicide intervention skills. According to Suicide Awareness Voices for Education, 80 to 90 percent of those who seek treatment for depression are treated successfully through therapy and/or medication. By taking these steps and being proactive in the way they approach issues like depression and suicide, employers, workers and safety and human resource professionals can help stem the tide of suicide in healthcare, while providing individuals the assistance they need.

 

https://www.thementalhealthcomedian.com/

Prejudice is a Nasty Habit

 

(credit : Marcel Tulloh http://dearworld.thecomicstrip.org/)

              “The roots of prejudice is always to be found in everyday life; they grow in one’s workplace and in one’s neighborhood. It is an outlet for one’s own failures and shortcomings. It is above all an expression out of ignorance and fear—ignorance of other people’s peculiarities; fear of losing a position, some social privilege, some presumed right. Skin color, race, language and birthplace surely has nothing at all to do with human qualities. To grade others by such low standards stands in stark contrast to the principle of equality. But it is also shamefully easy to apply by those whom feel inferior—in their workplace, in their social life, in their competition for a girl or a boy” -Olof Palme, 1966.

         We do see race, it's in our DNA. It becomes bigotry and racism when we choose to discriminate in order to feel superior. Some people dig the idea of belonging to an exclusive club just look at the history of genocide.

         Studies have shown that people have a hard time identifying people who look dissimilar to them. Educator Jane Elliot has been teaching a course on how easy it is to be prejudiced for fifty years.

         Can we change? Probably not. Should we try? Yes. It's not an exercise in futility to strive for a better nature, it's just really hard work breaking a very old ingrained habit. Think about how hard it is to stick with a diet. It's a struggle but worth it.

          When I lived in San Francisco everyone came in different sizes shapes and colors and I loved that. I also discovered that it's not just white people who are bigoted and I loved that too because we really are all the some. Genetics have proven that difference between you, me and everyone else in the world is negligible. By the way, to all those supremacists yelling "white power" turns out there is 2-5 % Neanderthal DNA in Europeans but none in Africans.

         We are all a little prejudiced but it's ok as long as we acknowledge it and change. Time to change -again.       

Dear World, Jane Eliot, Olof Palme

Bits and Pieces of My Mind

Another collection of peevish observations.

 

Girls!Girls!Girls!

         Like those hideous strip joints, stop calling women girls. This is irritates me because even though people claim it's an endearment, I think it's belittling. A military jet pilot is called a girl in an article headline. Can you imagine referring to a man that way? No, that's a child-someone immature, black men used to be called that as an insult. But somehow referring to an adult women as a girl is seen as sweet. Not to me.

        

But Muh Rights!

          Privileged white people throwing a hissy fit for being outright racist or barred entry for not wearing a mask is getting out of control. What these alleged grown ups forgot is that every restaurant, hotel and store has a sign that says they have the right to refuse you service. It's private property like your house. If said business doesn't like how you are dressed or behave they can tell you to leave (but not because you're black, Jewish or gay.)

          Most people don't understand what their civil rights are. Being an asshole without consequences is not a given. Not wearing a mask when health policy meant to protect everyone clearly states you must -buhbye. That goes for shoes, shirts or lack of adult supervision.

         You do have a right to free speech but that doesn't mean you can yell fire in a crowded theater, or demand that people agree with your opinions.

         Treat others as you would like to be treated isn't just a pithy saying. The Golden Rule is like Newton's third law -for every reaction there is an equal opposite reaction. Be nice, it cost you nothing and is good karma.

. . . By Any Other Word is Just as Sweet

 

         The LBGTQ community needs a better term than an armful of letters. It's awkward, hard to remember and too long. Gay and Lesbian is redundant, Bi is ok then there's transgender, queer, ci-gender, non binary- by then this old fart is confused. It needs something simple and catchy.

          People don't say Japanese, Chinese, Korean, India culture. They say Asian.

         What is the opposite of straight? Curved? As on a curve. Hmm, how about Rainbow. There. Simple, inclusive and already in use. The Rainbow Community, that has a nice ring to it.

 

The Other Social Distance

          Social media is like telepathy, you can hear what other people are thinking and you discover how dull they are and how little they think about you. What it lacks is the concept of boundaries. Oversharing, people talking on the phone while in the bathroom (eww) and intruding on what little privacy is left. Celebrities have a lot of experience with boundaries and protecting their family from the glare of public scrutiny.

         I watch The Try Guys on YouTube and recently their partners started a podcast of their own. One partner stays out of the limelight despite persistence by some, perhaps, overly curious/nosy fans. You know, if he or she chooses to stay off camera, people need to respect that. Some people don't like having their picture taken, speak in public or join in social events. They should not be bullied or cajoled to go along to please anyone.

         Privacy is becoming a precious commodity in an increasingly public world. Private thoughts are blared in posts, texts and photos. I'm long past being appalled by teenagers breaking up via texts but selfies ( especially nude ones) are still insufferable acts of egoism. You sent a boob shot to your boyfriend? Why don't you just walk up to him in front of his friends in public and flash them cause that's what you're doing.

         Boundary means an inside and outside to everything. The gadgets have blurred and even erased those boundaries. People have no problem or awareness of talking loudly on a phone and sharing it with strangers around them. A women was removed from a train for disturbing passengers by talking for twelve hours non stop. A young women was legally slapped for posting a photo of an older women in a locker room with disparaging remarks about her appearance.

         Men of course, have been caught hacking web cam's, zoom meetings and any manner of supposedly private discussion out of juvenile mischief or malice. Rarely do we hear an apology for such behavior.

         Boundaries people. They are important to ones mental well being and maintaining a sense of self that is apart from hive mentality. 

         Also, your private life is boring and none of our business so keep it to yourself.

LBGTQ, Rainbow flag, Try Guys, social media