Here I am ready to take on a new rank and in my enthusiasm while ordering a hakama I forgot to get a black belt. Well there’s a duh moment for you.
We have doing dry runs of the test for the las month in class and I will be glad to get the test over with. I’m ready. I feel like I did when rehearsing for a play -ok I know my lines let’s get on with this. I’m not being impatient-well maybe a little, it’s just that I don’t like to overwork anything and rob it of spontaneity and fun. I don’t think of this as a test that backs me into the corner of pass or fail mode and I tense up. This is more like a performance.
The senior sensei asked me how I felt about the test and if I was nervous. No, it’s like the theatre, I’m nervous for about 15 seconds before I go on stage then I’m fine. Once you’re out in front of an audience you got to deliver. When I first did theater in high school I had terrible stage fright and by the time I was in an acting class in college it was so bad I gave up on acting.
Well aikido changed all that (among other things). Now I have no problem facing a crowd and told the sensei I was fine with it, in fact several people have expressed interest in seeing the test- excuse me, performance.
When I step on that mat, I will deliver. First I have to buy a black belt.