Life is filled with stimuli, be it noise, lights, crowds of people, demands on our attention can be overwhelming. When that happens the ASD will often shut down or meltdown, causing frustration and a loss of temper. The common reaction to someone melting is to demand they calm down. This is not going to get a positive response when someone is simply trying to regain control. Sometimes that involves venting and thrashing to dissipate the stress. Leave them alone until they calm down. Shouting at them like a parent scolding a child having a tantrum is not mature. Instead ask "What can I do? What's the problem? Don’t worry this will pass.” Try to show some compassion instead of focusing on how you're affected. The person in distress is not happy either, so everyone chill.
In Aikido there is a form of meditation called misogi that involves sitting seiza (on your knees), ringing a bell with the whole arm and shouting in Japanese for like- an hour.
Before my diagnosis each time the experience was awful. I was left feeling stressed, exhausted and my legs numb. Well, now I know why, overstimulation. I flatly refsue to engage in this activity to save my sanity. Sitting in a chair, in a quiet space and focusing on breathing is much better. Lesson learned: noisy, physical activity is not for everyone-especially someone with autism. Don't pressure them to do it even with the best of intentions.
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